The Waffle House Werewolf

[VERSE 1] On Halloween, Cousin Skeeter led us Past the haunted outhouse burning bright. Dressed as a disco possum, with a lime-green face, They marched us through the night. I wore a sequined bathrobe with squeaky cowboy boots, And packed a rusty bait bucket for the sweets. We rode to the Waffle House on a lawn-mower limousine, To haunt the moonlit streets. A swamp witch waved us over, With a wicked, toothy grin. We tried to moonwalk beside the gate, Then someone called us in! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in squeaky cowboy boots, Come knocking at the door! Something sticky, something icky— We’re coming back for more! We can handle zombies and tax collectors, We’ll laugh at any fright. But Grandma twerking on a tractor? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [VERSE 2] First, Sheriff Pickles answered, Dressed as a vampire chicken in red. We picked treat; got a bucket of gravy-flavored gummy worms— “Well, butter my biscuits!” we said. Next, Aunt Wanda wore an inflatable Elvis, With a screaming armadillo beneath one arm. We chose trick; got a banshee-powered foghorn— That set off every car alarm! [CHORUS] Trick or treat in squeaky cowboy boots, Come knocking at the door! Something sticky, something icky— We’re coming back for more! We can handle zombies and tax collectors, We’ll laugh at any fright. But Grandma twerking on a tractor? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [BRIDGE] Then Grandma Mabel, dressed as a rhinestone scarecrow, Stepped out into the light. “Choose fried moon pies or a lifetime of banjo lessons! Which will it be tonight?” We picked treat; they passed us glow-in-the-dark hushpuppies, Then pointed at the moon. “Now square-dance backward!” They chanted, “Cluckity-cluck, you’re outta luck!” And the fiddler struck a tune. [FINAL CHORUS] Trick or treat in squeaky cowboy boots, Come knocking at the door! Something sticky, something icky— We’re coming back for more! We can handle zombies and tax collectors, We’ll laugh at any fright. But Grandma twerking on a tractor? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [OUTRO — THE TWIST] Then Cousin Skeeter dropped their disco possum mask, And we all began to shake. Beneath it lurked a real werewolf— That costume wasn’t fake! My elbows turned into country gravy, It spread across my skin. That cursed glow-in-the-dark hushpuppy had changed us all— The monsters were within! Now we haunt the Waffle House each Halloween, Come knocking at your door. Give us extra gravy, and we won’t yodel through your windows— Unless you ask for more!