What Probably Happened (Cedric)

[Verse 1] Good people gather, lend an ear your greatest chronicler is here I've spent the morning taking notes while dodging turnips, bread and goats The kingdom trembles, this is true though why exactly, no one knew I asked around and took my time then turned confusion into rhyme [Pre-Chorus] History is complicated facts are hard to organize Fortunately I possess a very flexible mind [Chorus] This is what probably happened more or less from what I've heard Some of it may be inaccurate but every word is still a word Excalibur now rules Britannia or perhaps it merely tried Mordred seized at least three kingdoms though none could quite be verified [Verse 2] Morgan conquered half tomorrow possibly the week beyond Sir Kay now runs the war office or perhaps a cleaning squad Sir Bors negotiated peace with twelve sheep and one old man which frankly was the largest crowd attending any peace-time plan Merlin drank a glowing potion then predicted seven moons or maybe seven spoons of porridge I was taking notes too soon [Pre-Chorus] Every witness tells a story every story changes shape By the time it reaches Cedric it becomes remarkably great [Chorus] This is what probably happened as recorded faithfully If reality objects to this reality may speak to me Arthur's either deeply thinking or unconscious in a chair Sources differ on the details but both reports seem fairly fair [Bridge] I interviewed a stable boy a goose and half a knight The goose provided stronger evidence and fewer contradictions [Break] "Is any of this true?" Truth? My dear friend. I'm a bard. [Final Chorus] This is what probably happened and until somebody proves a better version of events these are the facts I choose History belongs to storytellers that is simply how it's done And if I've misunderstood things at least I made them fun [Outro] Cedric's Official Chronicle, Volume One. Revised edition coming tomorrow. Probably.