[Intro] Isolation... Every day, battling for motivation. Who am I without you? Who am I without him? I'm still trying to figure that out. [Verse 1] You and him are what keep me going. Without you both, I don't know If I'd still be here, Still trying to make something of myself. Some days I don't even know If myself is worth saving. Four days alone in my apartment. Two weeks without ketamine, Over a month without weed. I used to flinch at every shadow, Every movement in the corner of my eye. But I've grown so used to living in fear, It's just another shadow passing by. I barely even look anymore. Sometimes I think, "Just take me." Part of me wishes that I would die. But I could never do it myself, Never leave this world And leave you and our beautiful boy behind. I'll be here until the end for him. [Pre-Chorus] No matter how hard I try, No matter how much I change, It always feels the same. How I wish I could just be enough. How I wish you could just be free, Not still somehow bound to me. [Chorus] I spent eight months wondering If you still remembered me. Now all I can think is, Why do you still think about me? I wanted to know I wasn't forgotten, Wasn't just another chapter In somebody else's life. But you were never just a chapter. You were the whole damn book. The thing I wished to hear Is what's breaking me. Why can't you just be free? Why can't you forget about me? [Verse 2] Your songs are so bittersweet. I love hearing you're finally choosing yourself, That you won't let me bind you down Or make you someone you don't recognize. But God, it hurts to hear How much you're still hurting. I'm ashamed of your love and devotion for me. Ashamed that after all this time, You still feel there's something you owe to me. I don't want you to feel guilty. You're not the one who should feel shame. I may always be bound to you, But you shouldn't have to feel the same. I'd take you back in a heartbeat, But part of me almost wishes I could say no. Not because I don't love you, But because I'm ashamed Of everything I put you through. I don't want your happiness To be another compromise. I want you to feel complete, In every fiber of your being. I got to feel whole with you... But couldn't face that you didn't feel it too. [Verse 3] Part of me knew, but couldn't face it. Accepting it would've left me In pieces all over again. Now I'm in a million pieces, Trying to put them back together. But there's pieces missing, And they're nowhere to be found. And somehow... Somehow I feel more complete. Because maybe those pieces Were never really meant To be a part of me. [Bridge] You're so loyal, patient, incredible. Who you are can only be felt in the heart. Reducing you to words Feels like an insult to everything you are. You deserve a love that's worthy of an angel. You may have fallen from heaven, But don't let me be the one who keeps you down. So soar higher than you've ever soared, Above the clouds, back where you belong. [Verse 4] I'll keep working on myself. I'll be there for our son, Whatever comes our way. Our beautiful little boy deserves A life full of joy and smiles, With a father he can be proud of. And whatever I believe I deserve, He shouldn't have to carry that. And I want you to live. Be happy. Smile. Feel like you again. Even if you find somebody else, Don't let me stand in your way. If he truly makes you happy, I'll learn to love him too. I'll always be here, However you need me, From afar or right beside you. [Breakdown] Sometimes the darkness feels like home. Fear. Sadness. Despair. I struggle to understand what I'm worth. But nothing feels more like home Than being in your light, in your embrace. And there's a part of me I can't face: The part that still hopes someday I might feel worthy of your love. Will I always be another scar That you can never erase? Will loving me always remind you Of the pain I put you through? If that's all I'll ever be, I'd rather stay in the shadows Than keep hurting you constantly. [Final Chorus] I spent eight months wondering If you still remembered me. Now I know you haven't forgotten... But I wish that you were free. You were never just a chapter. You were the whole damn book. Every page, every memory, Every moment I overlooked. I'd give anything to take away The pain I left inside your heart. [Outro] Maybe you'd be better off If we'd never met. And that thought I can't forget. I just want to see you happy, To know your heart has healed. So these thoughts... That maybe someday I could feel like I deserve you... I'll just have to keep them concealed. Keep them buried so deep inside, They're not even something I can feel. Lock them away. Throw away the key. And then just maybe... Maybe you'll finally learn... To be happy... Without me.
