[Verse 1] Michigan Theater, the velvet, the dust, and the flickering screen, Mom dropped me off, the usher won her trust, let me in, what a scene Spike and Mike on the marquee lit it up, animation all night, Sick & Twisted in the title and the title fit just right Beavis caught his very first breath on that big silver wall, Frog Baseball, the nastiest little massacre of all Too young for half the carnage that they crammed inside my brain, Laughed so hard I'm certain that a wire or two came unchained Down the road from a kid named Marshall and 8 Mile, Slim Shady shares my taste — same sick, twisted style [Pre-Chorus] The lights go down That's my hometown Where the worst thing said Is the funniest sound [Chorus] (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted Laughing where the light don't go (light don't go) (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted The darker the joke, the more I glow (ah) (Sick &) twisted (yeah) (Sick &) twisted [Verse 2] Stephen King on my left, Douglas Adams on my right Horror with a punchline, towel packed for the flight I write the kind of story where they eat the guy on a Tuesday Burp comes up like perfume in a real-class sick way Wife sleeps in the bathtub on a bed of Saltine Horror you can chuckle at, you know what I mean Fargo in the chipper, Heathers down the drain Gremlin in the microwave, laughing through the pain Final Destination — that premonition won't save you twice, Strolled right off the plane feeling lucky, so you rolled the dice, Then a loose bolt, a gas leak, a spark, then a flame — Log truck up ahead, Rube Goldberg is Death's name [Pre-Chorus] Plastic bag, rose petals down Floating over an uptight town Bojack at the bottom Still the funniest fucking clown [Chorus] (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted Laughing where the light don't go (light don't go) (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted The darker the joke, the more I glow (ah) (Sick &) twisted (yeah) (Sick &) twisted [Bridge] They say a taste for dark comedy means your IQ is high So technically I'm a genius — and that ain't no alibi I just happen to know how a quiet neighbor keeps it neat Santa Clarita at the dinner, Barry sweating in his seat It's academic interest, officer, a curious mind Every corpse in my search bar is the setup to a line Sign of intelligence, got the study framed up on the shelf Right above the chalk outline — relax, I drew that myself [Chorus] (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted Laughing where the light don't go (light don't go) (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted The darker the joke, the more I glow (ah) (Sick &) twisted (yeah) (Sick &) twisted [Verse 3] Flatpoint High, here comes Jerri Blank in the freshman row, A user and a boozer and a loser, here we go— Forty-six, ex-con, ex-junkie with a snaggletooth grin, Every after-school moral just rewards the sin There's Chuck Noblet at the chalkboard, buttoned up and uptight, Sneaking off with Mr. Jellineck in the art room every night That's where Colbert cut his teeth before the Daily Show and fame, Hauled the twisted to the mainstream, never once went tame Most-watched chair in all of late night, then the suits yanked the plug, Called it "purely financial," kicked the truth under the rug Won the Emmys on the way out the door — the sickest punchline yet, Shout to the king of the deadpan, the kind you don't forget [Chorus] (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted Laughing where the light don't go (light don't go) (Sick &) twisted, (Sick &) twisted The darker the joke, the more I glow (ah) (Sick &) twisted (yeah) (Sick &) twisted [Spoken Word] Am I the only one who knows that Poltergeist is a comedy? WHAT'S HAPPENIIIIIIIIIING? Adult Swim for the win Squidbillies in the house...
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