[Intro — restrained, funky bass, sparse drums] I fold my hands. Hold my breath. Count to ten and call it rest. Everything's fine. Everything's where it should be. Almost. [Verse 1] I keep things quiet inside my head, good stuff in white, bad stuff in red. I know when to smile, know when to bend, know how to vanish before I offend. Every word measured. Every feeling cut down. Every little hunger shoved underground. Built myself slowly, piece by piece, this pretty little version of peace. But underneath it— something's warm. Something's up. Something in me doesn't give a damn about behaving. [Pre-Chorus 1 — building] Don't look at it. Don't feed it. Don't name it. 'Cause once I name it, it gets real. Little heat behind my eyes. Little buzz under my skin. One thought I know I shouldn't have— What if I just let it in? [Chorus 1 — big, full band] I'm the good girl. I'm the storm. I'm the quiet. I'm the war. I'm not choosing— I'm both! I'm the silence. I'm the scream. I'm the nightmare and the dream. I'm not choosing— I'm FUCKING both! [Pre-Chorus 2 — building harder] Thoughts come quicker now. Take more. Say less. Quit explaining. Quit saying sorry. I should push it down. Don't wanna. I should feel guilty. I don't. The rules are still there, but they look stupid now. Like clothes I should've thrown out years ago. [Chorus 2 — louder, rawer] I'm the good girl. I'm the hunger. I'm the whisper turned to thunder. I'm not choosing— I'm both! I'm the mask. I'm the truth. I'm every version of my youth. I'm not choosing— I'm FUCKING both! [Bridge — low pulse, near-spoken] My hands aren't shaking. Heart ain't racing. I think about all those times I made myself smaller. Softer. Easier. Nice. All those careful smiles I wore like locks. “It's fine.” “Don't worry.” “I'm okay.” Was I? [Breakdown — bass and drums] No more sorting through my head. No more— this is me, this isn't. Sweet? Mine. Mean? Mine. Scared? Mine. Crazy? Mine too. That little voice saying tear the whole fucking thing down? Mine. There wasn't another woman. There never was. Just all the stuff I was too scared to call me. [Final Chorus — explosive] I'm the good girl. I'm the wild. I'm the woman and the child. I'm not choosing— I'm both! I'm the shadow. I'm the light. I'm every single part of my life. I'm not choosing— I'm fucking BOTH! [Final Transformation — keep building] I look in the mirror. Same face. Different woman. No— same woman. Finally all of her. I fold my hands. Fuck that. Let 'em fall. Hold my breath? Not anymore. I breathe in deep like I own the air. Perfect? Fuck that word. Perfect kept me quiet. Perfect kept me small. Perfect made me disappear so everybody else felt tall. I didn't break. I didn't lose myself. I tore the lock off every fucking part I was told to keep hidden. [Build — drums doubling] The good girl? Mine. The bad one? Mine. The sweet one? Mine. The cruel one? Mine. The fear? Mine. The hunger? Mine. The mess? Mine. The whole damn thing— MINE. [Final Refrain — huge] I'm the good girl. I'm the storm. I'm the silence. I'm the war. I'm the shadow. I'm the light. I'm the wrong and I'm the right. I don't choose. I don't divide. I don't cut myself in half just to keep you satisfied. I'm not choosing— I'M BOTH! [Last Push — bigger] Every scar— MINE! Every hunger— MINE! Every thought I used to hide— MINE! Every version I denied— MINE! [Final Explosion — maximum energy] I'M THE GOOD GIRL! I'M THE WILD! I'M THE WOMAN! I'M THE CHILD! I'M THE SHADOW! I'M THE LIGHT! I'M EVERY FUCKING PART OF MY LIFE! I'M NOT CHOOSING! I'M NOT SORRY! I'M NOT HALF OF ANYBODY! [Final Hit] I'M BOTH! I'M BOTH! I'M— FUCK....... [Hard stop]
