The Domina Detour

"Yeah... swiped right, didn't I? Thought I’d found a diamond. Turns out, it was just... charcoal." Stood by the bar, checkin’ my watch, feelin’ quite grand Lookin’ for a blonde queen, finest in the land Thirty-ish, polished, skin like silk Instead I got a nightmare, spillin' sour milk Door swings open, in walks a... cloud? Roots grown out, lookin’ way too loud Teeth like a graveyard, slanted and grey And a tattoo on her brow that ruined my day Oh.... Dom-di-dom-di-dom-dom-dom... D-O-M-I-N-A... Inky black letters, right above the eye I’m lookin’ for the exit, I’m lookin’ for the sky Oh, it’s a Tinder twist, a digital sin She’s got the 'Domina' ink etched in her skin Her phone starts buzzin’, a chaotic ring "Me daughter’s been nicked for a drug-dealin' thing" Locked in the station, stayin’ the night I’m checkin’ my laces, I’m takin’ to flight She’s shoutin’ down the line, "Keep your chin up, babe!" While I’m lookin’ for a hole, a tunnel, a cave Fifteen and dealin’? That’s a bit of a stretch The vibes in this pub are startin’ to etch I need a plan, a crafty little ruse To get away from the ink and the dental abuse I clutch my stomach, I pull a grimace "I’ve got to go, love... it’s a digestive crisis!" Oh.... Dom-di-dom-di-dom-dom-dom... "It’s me IBS, darling! It’s flarin’ up mad! The oysters I had? They’ve gone really bad! I’ve got a leak in me pipes, a storm in me gut I’d love to stay and chat, but I really must strut!" Run for the bus... don't look back... avoid the brow... avoid the smack... Oh, it’s a Tinder twist, a digital sin She’s got the 'Domina' ink etched in her skin The vibes are all wrong, the atmosphere's heavy I'm lookin' for the door, I'm gettin' the Chevy She's talkin' 'bout drama, it's all a bit much I'm losing my rhythm, I'm losing my touch Oh.... Dom-di-dom-di-dom-dom-dom... "Yeah... sorry 'bout the stomach, love... Proper emergency, this... Duty calls... or rather, the plumbing does... Keep the change... watch the ink..." Domina... Domina... Next time, check the filters, mate...