TASTE OF SMOKE House of Rowan — Thesis [Intro — warm Rhodes, faint vinyl hiss, intimate spoken baritone] Grandma had this old pot. Bottom burned black. Every Sunday, same kitchen. Still made the best food in the house. Funny what stays with you. [Verse 1 — conversational rap, relaxed pocket] Took the long way home past the old block again, Red light at the corner where we used to be friends. Had a whole speech ready for a face I might see, Light turned green, wasn’t nobody but me. Funny how the mind keeps old addresses, Even when your heart done changed residences. Kept receipts like a case I could win, Read ’em every night till the daylight came in. Spent too much time hoping karma would clock in, Meanwhile my own front door stayed locked from within. Started hearing disrespect where there wasn’t none, Taking old conversations out on everyone. Brother called twice, I ain’t pick up the phone, Too busy arguing with somebody already gone. Finally called back, heard his little boy laugh, Asked him how he’d been. We talked an hour and a half. [Pre-Chorus — drums thin, Rhodes opens] I thought letting go meant saying it was fine. It wasn’t. Still ain’t. [Chorus — warm melodic baritone, intimate and memorable] Still got the taste of smoke, Even when the fire’s gone. Some things you don’t forget, You just stop passing on. I don’t carry it like I used to, Don’t mean it didn’t hurt. Still got the taste of smoke, But it don’t own me anymore. [Verse 2 — bass more expressive, drums relaxed] Saw my cousin at the store counting out change, Said he’d seen some old faces, said they hadn’t changed. I was ready with the names and the things they did, Then his daughter pulled his sleeve, said, “Daddy, can we leave?” He put the coins down, lifted her with one arm, Said, “Call me Sunday,” walked her out to the car. I stood there with a story nobody needed, A little girl was waiting and he wasn’t gonna keep her. Don’t know what he’s forgiven, don’t know what he hides, Just saw him choose who needed him that night. Paid for my coffee, watched the taillights fade, Drove home through a part of town I hadn’t seen in days. And I ain’t saying pain makes everybody wise, Seen good people lose themselves just trying to survive. Some folks need distance, some wounds don’t close. Some nights the whole damn room still tastes like smoke. [Chorus — same melody, subtle backing harmony] Still got the taste of smoke, Even when the fire’s gone. Some things you don’t forget, You just stop passing on. I don’t carry it like I used to, Don’t mean it didn’t hurt. Still got the taste of smoke, But it don’t own me anymore. [Bridge — drums stop, Rhodes alone, almost spoken] Old friend asked me, “You still hate ’em?” I opened my mouth. Had to think. We laughed a little. Not because it was funny. I just couldn’t remember The last time I’d checked. [Verse 3 — intimate, softer delivery, drums return] Still got days when a word hits wrong, When a certain kind of silence takes me back too long. I ain’t healed from everything, won’t pretend I am, Some things I understand now, some I never can. But the porch light’s on and the food getting cold, Somebody in the kitchen asking when I’m coming home. And for once I ain’t rehearsing what I’d say if we met, Just thinking ‘bout the people I ain’t finished loving yet. I took that turn, left the old street behind, Didn’t feel like winning, didn’t need a sign. Just pulled into the driveway, sat there for a breath, Then I heard somebody laughing and went inside instead. [Final Chorus — gentle gospel harmony, no dramatic swell] Still got the taste of smoke, Even when the fire’s gone. Some things you don’t forget, You just stop passing on. I don’t carry it like I used to, Don’t mean it didn’t hurt. Still got the taste of smoke, But it don’t own me anymore. [Outro — drums gone, Rhodes and soft room ambience] Grandma’s pot lasted longer than the stove. She never called it a lesson. Just kept making dinner. [Rhodes resolves. Silence.]
