Goddamn Me If I Stay

Red Dust Siren

Last Split Second

Red Dust Siren

progressive metal, djnt

+ Show full styles

# GODDAMN ME IF I STAY

[VERSE 1 — deep clean vocal, bass and kick only]

I woke up fucking furious,
but I couldn't tell you why.
Like somebody left a loaded gun
behind my fucking eyes.

Every thought became an argument.
Every breath became a dare.
I kept waiting for the pressure
to admit it wasn't there.

[LOW GUITAR ENTERS — one crushing chord]

But it was.

[SCREAM]

IT FUCKING WAS.

[RIFF ERUPTS — asymmetrical low-tuned djent groove]

[VERSE 2 — screamed/clean alternating vocal]

I've been dragging this disaster
like a body through the hall,
telling everybody, "I'm alright,"
while I'm scraping down the wall.

I can laugh across a dinner.
I can shake another hand.
I can look you in the fucking eye
and barely fucking stand.

You want the truth?

[COMPLETE STOP]

I don't need another lesson.
I don't need another phrase.
I need something strong enough
to fucking meet me where I break.

[PRE-CHORUS — clean vocal rising over dissonant guitars]

Because every time I bury it,
it claws another way.

Every time I swear I'm leaving—

I hear myself fucking say—

[CHORUS — enormous CLEAN melodic vocal]

**Goddamn me if I stay.
Goddamn me if I go.
I built a home inside this hurt
because it's all I fucking know.**

If there's another version of me
beneath what I became,

then drag that bastard from the wreck—

**or goddamn me if I stay.**

[INSTRUMENTAL — guitars and bass separate into conflicting meters]

[VERSE 3 — deep rhythmic vocal]

I made a religion out of suffering,
made a ritual of blame.
Put a lock around the memory,
then memorized the fucking name.

I kept receipts for every heartbreak,
kept the dates and kept the score.
Funny how you call it armor
when you can't move anymore.

[SCREAMED RESPONSE]

CAN'T FUCKING MOVE.

CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE.

I'M HOLDING ON
TO WHAT'S KILLING ME.

[DRUMS DROP INTO HALF-TIME]

So what the fuck am I protecting?

What the fuck is left to save?

If pain's the only proof I lived—

then I've been living like a grave.

[CHORUS — clean vocal, heavier underneath]

**Goddamn me if I stay.
Goddamn me if I go.
I built a home inside this hurt
because it's all I fucking know.**

If there's another version of me
beneath what I became,

then drag that bastard from the wreck—

**or goddamn me if I stay.**

[EXTENDED GUITAR SOLO — chaotic, technical, dissonant; gradually collapses into one repeating note]

[BRIDGE — whispered deep vocal]

Maybe I don't want forgiveness.

Maybe I just want release.

Maybe I've been feeding misery
because misery feeds me.

Maybe healing scares me shitless.

Maybe rage became my name.

Because who the fuck am I

when I can't blame somebody else
for what remains?

[Silence]

Fuck.

[BREAKDOWN — impossibly slow, massive low-tuned riff]

**CUT
ME
THE
FUCK
OPEN.**

Find whatever's still alive.

I've been dying by inches
just to say that I survived.

**BREAK
EVERY
FUCKING
LOCK.**

Let the ugly bastard out.

If there's anything beneath this—

**LET IT FUCKING CRAWL OUT.**

[Double-kick acceleration]

I'M DONE—

MAKING SHRINES
OUT OF SCARS.

I'M DONE—

CALLING PRISONS
WHO WE ARE.

I'M DONE—

MAKING PAIN
PROVE MY NAME.

IF I WALK OUT OF THIS—

I WON'T WALK OUT THE SAME.

[FINAL CHORUS — soaring clean vocal against maximum heaviness]

**Goddamn me if I stay.
Goddamn me if I go.
I burned the home inside this hurt—
now I've got nowhere left to go.**

If there's another version of me
still screaming through the flames,

then let that bastard fucking live—

**or goddamn me if I stay.**

[FINAL BREAKDOWN — chorus melody continues faintly beneath screamed vocal]

GODDAMN ME—

IF I STAY.

GODDAMN ME—

IF I STAY.

I'D RATHER MEET
WHAT'S UNDERNEATH—

THAN DIE AS WHO
I AM TODAY.

3672/7500

# GODDAMN ME IF I STAY [VERSE 1 — deep clean vocal, bass and kick only] I woke up fucking furious, but I couldn't tell you why. Like somebody left a loaded gun behind my fucking eyes. Every thought became an argument. Every breath became a dare. I kept waiting for the pressure to admit it wasn't there. [LOW GUITAR ENTERS — one crushing chord] But it was. [SCREAM] IT FUCKING WAS. [RIFF ERUPTS — asymmetrical low-tuned djent groove] [VERSE 2 — screamed/clean alternating vocal] I've been dragging this disaster like a body through the hall, telling everybody, "I'm alright," while I'm scraping down the wall. I can laugh across a dinner. I can shake another hand. I can look you in the fucking eye and barely fucking stand. You want the truth? [COMPLETE STOP] I don't need another lesson. I don't need another phrase. I need something strong enough to fucking meet me where I break. [PRE-CHORUS — clean vocal rising over dissonant guitars] Because every time I bury it, it claws another way. Every time I swear I'm leaving— I hear myself fucking say— [CHORUS — enormous CLEAN melodic vocal] **Goddamn me if I stay. Goddamn me if I go. I built a home inside this hurt because it's all I fucking know.** If there's another version of me beneath what I became, then drag that bastard from the wreck— **or goddamn me if I stay.** [INSTRUMENTAL — guitars and bass separate into conflicting meters] [VERSE 3 — deep rhythmic vocal] I made a religion out of suffering, made a ritual of blame. Put a lock around the memory, then memorized the fucking name. I kept receipts for every heartbreak, kept the dates and kept the score. Funny how you call it armor when you can't move anymore. [SCREAMED RESPONSE] CAN'T FUCKING MOVE. CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE. I'M HOLDING ON TO WHAT'S KILLING ME. [DRUMS DROP INTO HALF-TIME] So what the fuck am I protecting? What the fuck is left to save? If pain's the only proof I lived— then I've been living like a grave. [CHORUS — clean vocal, heavier underneath] **Goddamn me if I stay. Goddamn me if I go. I built a home inside this hurt because it's all I fucking know.** If there's another version of me beneath what I became, then drag that bastard from the wreck— **or goddamn me if I stay.** [EXTENDED GUITAR SOLO — chaotic, technical, dissonant; gradually collapses into one repeating note] [BRIDGE — whispered deep vocal] Maybe I don't want forgiveness. Maybe I just want release. Maybe I've been feeding misery because misery feeds me. Maybe healing scares me shitless. Maybe rage became my name. Because who the fuck am I when I can't blame somebody else for what remains? [Silence] Fuck. [BREAKDOWN — impossibly slow, massive low-tuned riff] **CUT ME THE FUCK OPEN.** Find whatever's still alive. I've been dying by inches just to say that I survived. **BREAK EVERY FUCKING LOCK.** Let the ugly bastard out. If there's anything beneath this— **LET IT FUCKING CRAWL OUT.** [Double-kick acceleration] I'M DONE— MAKING SHRINES OUT OF SCARS. I'M DONE— CALLING PRISONS WHO WE ARE. I'M DONE— MAKING PAIN PROVE MY NAME. IF I WALK OUT OF THIS— I WON'T WALK OUT THE SAME. [FINAL CHORUS — soaring clean vocal against maximum heaviness] **Goddamn me if I stay. Goddamn me if I go. I burned the home inside this hurt— now I've got nowhere left to go.** If there's another version of me still screaming through the flames, then let that bastard fucking live— **or goddamn me if I stay.** [FINAL BREAKDOWN — chorus melody continues faintly beneath screamed vocal] GODDAMN ME— IF I STAY. GODDAMN ME— IF I STAY. I'D RATHER MEET WHAT'S UNDERNEATH— THAN DIE AS WHO I AM TODAY.

0/500