I Should Have Held On

I Should Have Held On Janice Johnson | Candy Colored Coffins [Intro – Sparse acoustic guitar, faint barroom ambience, brushed snare] [Verse 1] Jacen packed his things on a Saturday night Said he’d had enough of being wrong and right I watched his taillights disappear Didn’t shed a single tear Funny how a woman gets so tired Of keeping something dead alive Monday morning, eight fifteen My boss was raising hell at me Said, “You’re late again, now what’s your excuse?” I said, “Honey, I’ve got better things to lose” [Pre-Chorus] I’ve spent too long just getting by Watching better days go walking by But something told me this was it The day my whole damn world would shift [Chorus] I should have held on Just a little bit tighter Should’ve known better Should’ve been a fighter Had the whole world waiting Right there in my hands One careless moment And there went all my plans Lord, I was so close to being gone I should have held on [Verse 2] I called up Jacen around half past ten Said, “Don’t you ever come crawling back again” Told him every little thing I’d swallowed down Then hung up before he made a sound Walked into work with my head held high Looked that sorry bastard straight in the eye Said, “You can take this job and shove it, dear” He said, “You’ll regret this time next year” I said, “I wouldn’t bet on that” Grabbed my purse and never looked back [Pre-Chorus] There’s a funny thing about goodbye Sometimes it’s the first time you feel alive And for once I knew without a doubt Exactly where my life was heading now [Chorus] I should have held on Just a little bit tighter Should’ve known better Should’ve been a fighter Had the whole world waiting Right there in my hands One careless moment And there went all my plans Lord, I was so close to being gone I should have held on [Bridge – Pedal steel cries, Wurlitzer underneath] I drove to Raleigh with the windows down Singing every song I knew through town Parked the car and stepped into the sun Thinking, “Girl, your better days have just begun” Had a little something in my hand A little piece of my brand-new plan The wind came whipping down Fayetteville Street And something white went dancing past my feet [Music drops to acoustic guitar and bass] [Final Verse – Conversational, almost spoken] Now, I ain’t talking ‘bout Jacen, y’all Hell, I was glad to see that man go And that job can kiss my country ass But there’s one thing you oughta know… Six little numbers and a Powerball Two hundred million dollars, y’all Had that ticket folded in my hand Was walking downtown to collect my grand Then a gust of wind came rolling through And that little slip of paper flew I chased it halfway down the street Watched it disappear beneath my feet Straight through the grate of a storm drain And wouldn’t you know, it started to rain [Pause – One lonely harmonica note] [Final Chorus – Full band, darkly comedic delivery] I SHOULD HAVE HELD ON! Just a little bit tighter! Could’ve bought the whole damn bar And set the place on fire! Had two hundred million Right there in my hands Now I’m single, unemployed And broke as hell again! Lord, I was so close to being gone I should have held on! [Outro – Slow, swinging country groove] Jacen’s gone, my job’s gone too And the city’s got my fortune in a sewer If anybody needs me, I’ll be here till dawn With a flashlight and a coat hanger… Trying to hold on. [Spoken, deadpan] “Anybody got the number for Raleigh Public Works?” [Final pedal steel bend, barroom laughter, fade out]