[Spoken Intro – soft strings / crowd settling] PIP: Alright, alright… last one. FATTYFOOT: Don’t throw food yet. Save it for our exit. Well that’s the night, friends, That’s the tune and the tale, We’ve got other doors to knock on, Other mugs to fill with ale. PIP: You’ve got work in the morning, Or at least a plan to try. We’ve got roads that keep on calling, And the stars out in the sky. BOTH: The show is over and we’ve got to go, So come on over, line up in a row. Pip Pippington, Fattyfoot McGee, Giving out hugs tonight for free. (Hey!) PIP: Sorry to be leaving, But that’s the show, that’s the deal, There’s another town over With another crowd to steal— PIP (sung): Another room of strangers Who’ll become our friends by night, Another round of pies and ale, and singing tales, by candlelight. BOTH: The show is over and we’ve got to go, So come on over, line up in a row. Pip Pippington, Fattyfoot McGee, Giving out hugs tonight for free. (Hey!) [Spoken Break – playful] FATTYFOOT: Also, we’re huggers. PIP: Aggressively. Professionally. FATTYFOOT: Line up, don’t panic. PIP: Come here, come here, we mean it, we do, A little squeeze for me, a little squeeze for you. There there—deep breath—don’t make it weird, Is that… garlic? FATTYFOOT: Here. Breath mint. PIP: Two, actually. It’s been a long year. FATTYFOOT (sung): You’ve been kind to a couple of traveling fools, You’ve sung our hooks and you’ve broken our rules, So take this hug like a badge and a kiss— PIP (spoken): Not a real kiss. A vibe kiss. BOTH: The show is over and we’ve got to go, So come on over, line up in a row. Pip Pippington, Fattyfoot McGee, Giving out hugs tonight for free. (Hey!) [Play-out – instrumental, applause, crowd cheering] PIP (spoken over [Play-out – instrumental, applause, crowd cheering] PIP (spoken over music): You’ve been beautiful! FATTYFOOT: Tip your bartenders! Tip your paladins! PIP: Lock your— FATTYFOOT: *Pip!* PIP: …hearts. Lock your hearts. [Grand Finale outro Instrumental] You've been great and we've been Sneak Attack. Goodnight! [dueling guitar and vocal adlib solo] [Music ends. A beat of quiet.] VOICE FROM CROWD (male shouted): WAIT—WHO TOOK MY WALLET?! [Sudden overlapping shouts of varied voices, comedic chaos] CROWD: My ring! / My boots! / My pouch! / My coin purse! Where’s my spoon?! / That was my hat! / My keys! / My… sausage?! [Last tiny guitar pluck from offstage, then silence.]
