(Verse 1 ) If there’s a God, why did he make me suffer? Why did I learn fear before I learned comfort? All the trauma I went through, was it necessary? Or was I just left in a world that never cared for me? I tried to find meaning in the breaking, But nothing ever made it make sense, Some nights I still feel like I’m fading, Like I’m paying for a life I never sent. (Pre-Chorus ) And I don’t know how to pray anymore, When silence is all I get back, Tell me how I’m supposed to believe When heaven never called me back. (Chorus) If there’s a God, I don’t think he meant to put me through hell… God dammit. I’m still trying to heal from the stories I never tell… God dammit. Why does it feel like I was built to break and survive it? Like I was left in the dark and told to just “be quiet”… God Dammit. God dammit. [Rap Verse ] I been talking to a ghost in my bedroom light, Asking why my soul don’t feel alright, I trusted wrong hands, now I don’t trust mine, Everything blurry when I look inside. Someone crossed a line I can’t explain, Left me carrying a body full of pain, And I smile outside so nobody sees How loud it gets inside of me. Lost friends to silence, lost friends to pain, Phone full of names I can’t say again, Some left this world without goodbye, Now I stare at the ceiling asking “why?” And I’m tired of pretending I’m fine, When I’m barely surviving my mind, If heaven is real, then where was it then? When I needed something more than.... Amen. God dammit. (Bridge) Maybe I’m not broken beyond repair, Maybe I’m just hurt and still standing there, But I still question every star in the sky Like, “Why’d you let me learn how to cry this way?” [Final Chorus] If there’s a God, I don’t think he meant to put me through hell… God dammit. I’m still here even when I don’t know how to help myself… God dammit. And I’m trying to turn all this pain into something like healing, But some days I still don’t believe what I’m feeling… God dammit.
