ふとした瞬間、脳裏に浮かぶ過去の自分。 鏡の前でポーズを決め、「これが俺の覚醒だ…！」と呟いたあの夜。 誰も見ていないのに、何かを背負った気になっていた。 いや、誰も見てないからこそ、背負えたんだ。 Beneath the stars, my blade took flight, A vow to shatter endless night. Yet every strike, a fleeting flame, Burned youth to ash in glory's name. 掲げた手は空を切り、 言葉の端々は借り物の言霊。 挙句、部屋に響く決め台詞の声が思いの他に響き大きく、 部屋の外から母に「静かにしなさい」と叱られた。 その度に、一瞬、世界がかすんだものさ。 光でも影でもない、自意識という名の奈落(ゲヘナ)が俺をいざなう。 もがいても逃れられない、悲しき虜囚！ そして今。 何気なくカーテンを閉めていたはずの手が止まり、 突然「ああああああ(嗚呼)！」と声にならない叫びをあげる。 なぜ思い出してしまうのだ、あの滑稽な闇を！ なぜこの手は此うも！此うも！此んなにも！疼くのか！ 嗚呼！ しかし、静かになった部屋で一息つくと気づくのだ。 あの痛々しい自分がいたから、今こうして恥じる自分がいる。 つまり、成長だ。…と無理やり自分を納得させ、 再び記憶の海へ沈むのであった。 Alone I stood, my voice a roar, A hero’s name I sought to soar. Yet echoes mocked my fleeting fame, And shame now burns where dreams once came. Its brilliance was too blinding for the person I’ve become. 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱💦 In fleeting moments, my past self rises in my mind. The boy who stood before the mirror, striking a pose, And whispered, "This is my awakening..." Though unseen by any, I carried a weight upon my back. No, it was because no one saw me that I could bear it. Beneath the stars, my blade took flight, A vow to shatter endless night. Yet every strike, a fleeting flame, Burned youth to ash in glory's name. My raised hand sliced through empty air, Each word borrowed from someone else's truth. And when my declaration of destiny echoed too loudly, My mother called from the next room, "Keep it down!" In those moments, the world blurred for an instant. Neither light nor shadow, but the abyss of self-awareness—Gehenna—beckoned me. A tragic captive, struggling in vain to escape! And now. As I reach to close the curtains, my hand falters, And suddenly I cry out, "Aaaaaah!" in wordless anguish. Why must I remember that foolish darkness? Why do these hands still tremble, ache, yearn so much? Ah! Yet, as silence returns to my room, I find clarity. It was because of that painfully earnest self that I can feel shame today. This, I tell myself, is growth. And so, I let myself sink once more into the sea of memory. Alone I stood, my voice a roar, A hero’s name I sought to soar. Yet echoes mocked my fleeting fame, And shame now burns where dreams once came. Its brilliance was too blinding for the person I’ve become, casting me into shame.
