[Intro] (Yeah, yeah, yeah) It’s never too late… [Chorus] It’s never too late to masturbate! (Hey!) Pump it, stroke it, celebrate! (Woo!) Day or night, it feels so great Everybody masturbate! [Post-Chorus] Masturbate! Masturbate! In every city, every state Masturbate! Masturbate! Open the gate and ejaculate! [Verse 1] Morning wood, I’m wide awake Coffee in one hand, dick in the other, no break Bus stop, park bench, back of the Uber Driver gave five stars, said “Bro, you’re a trooper” [Pre-Chorus] Some people judge, some people hate But my hand and I, we got a date Lube on the left, phone on the right Gonna beat it like it owes me money all night [Chorus] It’s never too late to masturbate! (Hey!) Pump it, stroke it, celebrate! (Let’s go!) Gay, straight, bi, whatever your fate The whole damn world masturbate! [Post-Chorus] Masturbate! Masturbate! On the corner of Sunset and 8th Masturbate! Masturbate! Nut so hard it changes the state [Verse 2] Church pew quiet, but I’m in the zone Priest keep talking, I’m talking to the bone Flight attendant says “Sir, put your tray up” I whisper “Already did… now I’m about to erupt” [Bridge] (Spoken, half-whispered) They see me rolling… they hating Caught me patroling my meat and debating Should I finish quick or make it last? Either way I’m coming in first place, no cap [Final Chorus – Big] It’s never too late to masturbate! From the bedroom to the interstate! Top floor, basement, fire escape The whole human race masturbate! [Outro] Masturbate! (Yeah!) Masturbate! (One more time!) Masturbate! Go ahead king, it’s self-care time
