Half of me is Lying

[Verse 1] There’s a life where I stay quiet There’s a life where I confess One keeps everybody steady One leaves ashes in my chest There’s a version of me smiling With his hands behind his back There’s another one still reaching For the thing he shouldn’t have [Pre-Chorus] And I don’t know which one’s honest I don’t know which one’s kind When every truth I try to live Leaves another one behind [Chorus] Half of me is lying Half of me is true One of me is leaving One is still with you I can split myself in pieces I can call it being brave But I can’t live every version And I can’t make either stay stay Half of me is dying Half of me survives I can’t tell the truth completely Without ruining both lives [Verse 2] There’s a room where I am wanted There’s a room where I belong And I keep walking between them Like I haven’t chosen wrong There’s a name I say too softly There’s a name I wear like home And I hate that love can double But my body can’t be cloned [Pre-Chorus] So I fold myself in silence Try to make the edges meet But every time I hide one hunger Another learns to bleed [Chorus] Half of me is lying Half of me is true Half of me is lying Half of me is true One of me is leaving One is still with you I can split myself in pieces I can call it being brave But I can’t live every version And I can’t make either stay Half of me is dying Half of me survives I can’t tell the truth completely Without ruining both lives [Bridge] If I choose the safer ending Do I lose the louder heart? If I follow what is burning Do I tear the world apart? If I bury every wanting Will it make me good or gone? If I name the thing I’m hiding Will I still know where I’m from? I am not a clean confession I am not a single door I am someone split by loving More than life has room for And I am tired of pretending That restraint does not have teeth That the right thing never hurts me That the wrong thing cannot grieve [Final Chorus] Half of me is lying Half of me is true One of me is breaking One is getting through I can split myself in pieces I can smile and call it grace But I can’t live every version Without losing my own face Half of me is dying Half of me survives I can’t tell the truth completely So I sing it half-alive [Outro] There’s a life where I stay quiet There’s a life where I confess And I am standing in the doorway With both hearts in my chest.