[Intro - cute female vocals, cheerful bouncy guitar] Oh, thank you! This looks really— [brief pause] ...what's that? [Verse 1 - extremely fast deep female growl shout-rap, immediate explosive delivery] I SAID NO PICKLES, FOUR FUCKING WORDS, NOTHING VAGUE OR METAPHORICAL, NO SPECIAL DIET, NO COMPLEX REQUEST, THIS SHIT WAS PURELY CATEGORICAL, BUN? YES, PATTY? YES, CHEESE? FUCK YES, SAUCE CAN STAY WHERE IT IS, BUT BETWEEN THE CHEESE AND LETTUCE SIT TWO GREEN VINEGAR-SOAKED DISCS STARING BACK LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE, LITTLE SOUR CIRCLES OF DISRESPECT, I CHECKED THE SCREEN, THE RECEIPT SAYS "NO PICKLES", SO WHAT THE FUCK DID I EXPECT? APPARENTLY TOO MUCH FROM REALITY, NOW MY LUNCH HAS DECLARED WAR— [cute clean vocal] It's really not a big deal! [deep growl] THEN WHY AM I THIS FUCKING SORE? [Pre-Chorus - ridiculously sweet female vocals] Take them off! Problem solved! Nothing here requires getting involved! Just two pickles! You'll survive! [deep growled backing] I KNOW THAT, BRAIN, I'M FUCKING TRYING [Chorus - huge sugary bubblegum female vocals] I said no pickles! Please take them away! I don't want the little green things Anywhere near my lunch today! I said no pickles! It's an easy mistake! I'm smiling on the outside While my brain begins to break! [Verse 2 - vicious machine-gun female growl-rap, denser and faster] NOW THE FUCKING PICKLE JUICE HAS CONTAMINATED EVERYTHING, YOU CAN REMOVE THE PHYSICAL OBJECT BUT THE FLAVOR'S SETTLING IN, LITTLE SOUR GHOST PRINT SOAKING INTO CHEESE AND BREAD, PICKLE'S GONE BUT PICKLE MEMORY IS LIVING RENT-FREE IN MY HEAD COULD I EAT IT? YES I COULD, WILL I DIE? PROBABLY NOT, IS THIS WORTH THE LEVEL OF EMOTION THAT THIS FUCKING BURGER GOT? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT, THANK YOU, SELF-AWARENESS NOTED, BUT SELF-AWARENESS DOESN'T MAKE THE FUCKING VINEGAR UNCOATED SO I WALK BACK TO THE COUNTER LIKE A REASONABLE ADULT— [cute polite female vocal] Hi! Sorry to bother you. I ordered this without pickles. [brief pause] Thank you so much! [deep internal growl] THERE WE GO CRISIS RESOLVED NOBODY HAD TO FUCKING DIE WHY DID MY INNER SOUNDTRACK MAKE THAT FEEL LIKE WORLD WAR FIVE? [Chorus - sweet layered vocals over heavier guitars] I said no pickles! Please take them away! I don't want the little green things Anywhere near my lunch today! I said no pickles! Nobody is to blame! It's a tiny human error— [deep growl] AND I STILL FUCKING HATE THEM ALL THE SAME [Cyber Break - violent bouncy guitar riff, distorted 808s, frantic drums] [Verse 3 - fastest possible female shout-rap and guttural growls] AND DON'T COME AT ME WITH "JUST PICK THEM OFF", WE'VE COVERED THIS, I KNOW, THE JUICE HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT, THERE IS NOWHERE LEFT TO GO, CHEESE INFECTED, SAUCE COMPROMISED, BUN HAS TAKEN ON THE TASTE, WE'RE DEALING WITH A CATEGORY FIVE PICKLE-BASED EVENT AND WHY ARE THEY THE DEFAULT? WHO DECIDED EVERY BUN REQUIRES TWO SOUR COINS HIDING UNDERNEATH THE CHEESE LIKE SOME CULINARY FUCKING LANDMINE WAITING THERE FOR ME? PUT THEM ON THE SIDE, LET PEOPLE OPT INTO THE BRINE, DON'T MAKE ME SPECIFY THEIR ABSENCE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME [cute clean vocal] Some people really like them! [deep growl] GOOD! THEY CAN HAVE MINE! [Breakdown - deepest female growls, enormous stop-start riffs] NO PICKLES NO BRINE KEEP THOSE GREEN DISCS OFF MINE NOT A THREAT NOT A FIGHT I JUST DON'T FUCKING LIKE THEM ALRIGHT? [Final Verse - relentless rapid-fire growl shout-rap] THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE PICKLES ANYMORE— [brief pause] YES IT FUCKING IS, THAT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY THING THIS WHOLE SONG'S FOR, NO DEEPER MEANING, NO METAPHOR, NO CHILDHOOD WOUND TO FIND, I JUST DON'T LIKE PICKLED CUCUMBERS AND I WOULD LIKE THAT CHOICE TO BE MINE NO VILLAIN HERE, NO MORAL, NO INJUSTICE TO ADDRESS, SOMEBODY MADE A TINY ERROR, I'M JUST BEING FUCKING EXTRA 'CAUSE THE MUSIC MAKES IT SOUND LIKE I'VE BEEN PERSONALLY BETRAYED— [cute clean vocal] New burger! No pickles! [deep growl] ...oh. Thanks! [Final Chorus - enormous happy female vocals over maximum instrumental aggression] I said no pickles! And now they're finally gone! Look at that, we solved the problem Without burning something down! I said no pickles! Now everything is great! Four minutes of aggression For a problem fixed in eight! [Outro - cute female vocals] Mmm! Perfect. [brief pause] ...wait. Is that mustard?
