NOTHING

[Intro] Your old hoodie’s still behind my bedroom door, I should’ve thrown it out a couple months before. But every time I reach for it, I hear your voice— Like hating myself was ever really my choice. [Verse 1] You said I’d never be the person that I swore I’d become, So I stopped finishing songs, started leaving shit undone. I’d stare into the mirror like I owed you an apology, Picking myself apart to match the way you talked to me. You knew exactly where to press to make me second-guess, Turned every little failure into evidence. Now somebody says they love me and I think they’re being kind, Like there’s gotta be a punchline waiting somewhere down the line. I missed three calls from my mom ’cause I couldn’t leave my bed, Spent the whole damn afternoon replaying what you said. And the worst part isn’t even that you left eventually— It’s that half the shit you hated is what I still see in me. [Chorus] You told me I was nothing, I believed you and it ruined me. Now every room I walk into, I wonder who they wanted me to be. You told me I was nothing, Like you knew me better than I knew myself. Now I hear you in my own voice Every time I put myself through hell. And I know you’re gone, But you never really leave. You told me I was nothing— I believed you. I believed you. I believed you more than me. [Verse 2] There’s a coffee stain shaped like Ohio on the passenger seat, From the night you said you’d had enough of dealing with me. I remember laughing nervously, pretending I was fine, Then driving home in silence with your sentence on rewind. I changed the way I dressed, the friends I called, the way I spoke, Learned to make myself smaller every time you made a joke. Now I’m trying to remember what I liked before we met, And it’s terrifying how much of me I somehow just forget. Last week somebody told me that they liked the way I think, And I almost asked them why before I caught myself mid-sentence. That’s the kind of thing you left me—not some photograph or key, Just a permanent suspicion there is something wrong with me. But tonight I played the songs I used to hide when you were home, Turned the amp until the neighbors hit the ceiling with a broom. And for once your voice got quieter underneath the feedback scream— Maybe everything you said about me doesn’t have to stay with me. [Chorus] You told me I was nothing, I believed you and it ruined me. Now every room I walk into, I wonder who they wanted me to be. You told me I was nothing, Like you knew me better than I knew myself. Now I hear you in my own voice Every time I put myself through hell. And I know you’re gone, But you never really leave. You told me I was nothing— I believed you. I believed you. I believed you more than me. [Bridge] So fuck your voice inside my head. Fuck every night I wished I was somebody else instead. I’m not gonna say I’m better, I’m not gonna fake relief. I’m just learning you were wrong Every time you made me hate being me. And maybe that’s enough tonight— To hate myself a little less. To sing the words I used to swallow And let somebody hear the mess. [Final Chorus] You told me I was nothing, I believed you and it ruined me. But maybe being ruined Doesn’t mean that’s all I’ll ever be. You told me I was nothing, And I carried it like gospel truth. Now I’m tearing out the pages Where I learned to see myself through you. Yeah, I know you’re gone, And some nights you still don’t leave. You told me I was nothing— I believed you. God, I believed you. But maybe I can learn To believe in me.