[instrumental intro] [Fun Vintage Synths] [Intro] I just snorted Adderall through a rolled-up ballot card Now I'm ready to verbally massacre your whole damn yard Jumping out of DP's head like a jack-in-the-box from hell With more twisted thoughts than a pedophile running a carousel I'll piss in your holy water, snort coke off your Bible's page Use tampons as tea bags, serve 'em to a GOP fundraising stage Then run through a pride parade in a Klan hood spray-painted rainbow Throwing dildos at both sides—call me the equal opportunity asshole! [Beat drop] [Verse 1] I shoved an umbrella up an activist's ass then opened it (Pop!) While force-feeding meat to vegans till they fucking vomit I'll jerk off in a MAGA hat, cum in a feminist's purse Then gift it to a pastor's wife—which part of that's worse? I drink pronouns with my coffee, shit out misgendered turds Then make Fox News anchors eat them while I'm screaming slurs Playing jump rope with aborted fetuses while nuns watch crying Then use crosses as chopsticks for a church choir's deep-frying Y'all getting triggered yet? I'm just getting started! (Wait for it!) I'll skull-fuck your belief system till your brain's departed Cut off your man-bun, glue it to Ben Shapiro's head Make him debate AOC while they're both naked in bed I'm more offensive than black-face at an NAACP meeting Or hosting a bacon cookout at a mosque while Quran-sheets seating I make jokes about school shootings during a moment of silence Then sell bulletproof backpacks with targets painted for guidance I'll rape the Easter Bunny—wait, can I say that? I don't care! Force Jesus and Muhammad to make out while I pull their hair Your blue-haired daughter's gender studies degree looks great Hanging next to the glory hole where Republicans congregate To suck off immigrants they voted to deport the next day I'll film it, sell it to evangelical moms, they'll pay To see what their husbands do while preaching family values Then use that money to buy drugs from the thugs they jail, who's The hypocrite now? Everyone, that's who I expose While dancing on the graves of everything society holds close I don't pick sides 'cause everyone's equally full of shit Like a constipated convention, and I'm here to make it all fit Down your fucking throats till you choke on your own hypocrisy This isn't satire anymore, it's a fucking autopsy Of every fake belief you hold while judging the other team I'll cut off both their heads and make them kiss in a wet dream! [Chorus] Sinix says slit your wrists! (What?) Sinix says eat a dick! (Huh?) If you're feeling triggered now, just wait till I really get sick! Sinix says burn a flag! (Which one?) Sinix says grab your gun! (Bang-bang!) Left or right, they all deserve a bullet between the eyes for fun! [Verse 2] I'll sodomize a crucifix while wearing a pride shirt (So inclusive!) Then burn a rainbow flag to keep some homeless Christians warm I'm the reason your kids need therapy, I'm fucking deranged Making school shooting jokes sound like sesame street's latest change I've got pronouns for your mom—dead/buried—after I'm done With the train I'm running on her corpse, necrophilia's fun! Especially at a feminist rally where I'll toss her remains Then do the same to truck-nuts Billy who complains about migrants You social justice warriors with your keyboards of rage (Tap-tap!) I'll shove them up your ass till you taste the space bar's cage Then turn around and do the same to right-wing conspiracy nuts Force-feeding them vaccines made from aborted Jesus guts I'll jack off to furry porn at a Republican convention Then switch to Bible Black at a Democratic intervention Equal opportunity wanker with the most balanced spank bank My browser history would make both Stalin and Hitler feel dank I'll make sandwiches for homeless people—sounds nice, right? WRONG! I'll fill them with laxatives, watch as they shit all day long On the steps of both churches and planned parenthood clinics Recording reactions for my YouTube that's monetized with gimmicks Like "DESTROYING LIBS WITH FACTS!" and "EXPOSING RIGHT-WING HATE!" Playing both sides against each other is my perpetual state I'll dress like a Nazi at a Holocaust remembrance day Then wear a BLM shirt to a Klan rally, what can I say? [Bridge] You think Slim was shocking? That's fucking cute! (Adorable!) I make him look like Mickey Mouse with my demented disputes I don't just say shocking shit, I actually do it all While laughing at both sides as they begin to fall Your political spectrum's just a fucking dartboard to me I throw verbal knives blindfolded, hit arteries with glee The blood that sprays out spells my name in cursive writing While I'm on your computer, all your passwords highlighting [Verse 3] Trans rights activists, I support your cause—to a cliff! (Jump!) Along with TERFS and conservatives, all taking a swift Dive into the volcano of my equal hatred lava I'll make a gay conversion pastor and drag queen go commando In a kiddie pool filled with holy water and poppers combined Livestream it to churches and pride parades, breaking their minds I'll circumcise the Washington Monument with a rusty blade Then use the skin to make lampshades for an anti-Semite parade School shootings are hilarious—when they happen at NRA Conventions where I've replaced their bullets with confetti gay Rainbow colored paper that explodes with trans hormones Making gun nuts grow tits while the left grows terror bones I'll dig up George Floyd and Rush Limbaugh for a puppet show Making them kiss while I throw voice like a psycho Then sell tickets to both sides, claiming it's for charity When really it's funding my mission of causing disparity My favorite hobby's jerking off to Ben Shapiro's sister While watching Tucker Carlson interview AOC's twister Game night where they're both naked and oiled up ready To compete for who can name more genders steadily I'll abort a baby at nine months—a Republican's kid Then make a liberal raise it as trans, just for the bid Of who gets more offended when I post it online With #BothSidesAreTrash as my hashtag design! [Outro] So there you have it, folks—equal opportunity hate From the most balanced demon this side of heaven's gate If I've offended you, mission accomplished, that's great! If you laughed at others getting roasted but got mad at your fate When I turned my sights on you, then congratulations, you're played! You're the exact hypocrite this whole song was made to berate Sinix out, dropping the mic in a puddle of everyone's tears I'll be back for more when society conquers its fears! (Which is never, so see you tomorrow, fuckers!) [Echoed manical laughter to end] hahahahaha [Fade to end]
