# The Duck Bus Depot [Intro — spoken] Another bus pulls up. Then another. Then another. The vampire looks down the road. “…Why are there twelve of them?” **QUACK QUACK.** “Oh, we’re doomed.” [Verse 1] Duck buses by the Mansion, Duck buses by the trees, One somehow parked sideways With perfect bloody ease. Ghosts are checking tickets, Skeletons wave them through, And someone’s painted on a sign: **SHARK ISLAND DUCK BUS CREW** [Chorus] Welcome to the duck bus depot, Where nobody knows the route. Every driver’s six inches tall And dressed in tiny suits. They’ve got whistles, maps and biscuits, They’ve got absolutely no plan— But somehow every bus arrives Exactly where it can. [Verse 2 — Vampire] The vampire storms towards the leader, “I would like a formal chat.” The duck hands him a clipboard. He stares. “…What is that?” **QUACK.** “It says I’m late for work?!” The skeleton starts laughing. The vampire reads the next line. “…I’m the conductor?” [Bridge] Thunder rolls across the island, Purple light fills up the sky, And now the vampire’s taking tickets While the ducks go rolling by. He mutters, “I hate every one of you.” A duck gives him a tiny hat. He puts it on. “…Fine. It’s quite smart.” [Final Chorus] Welcome to the duck bus depot, Let the whole of Shark Island know! Monsters, ghosts and tiny drivers Putting on a proper show. Through the rain we stick together, Laughing louder than before— Because somehow chaos always finds us Right outside the Mansion door. [Outro — spoken] “Last bus!” **QUACK.** “Where’s it going?” The duck points toward the cliffs. “…Why?” The bus doors open. Inside: A full brass band of ducks. The vampire closes his eyes. “No.” The trumpet starts. “NO.”
