[intro – 2 bars] Every store, every door, same four chords… God, spare me. If I hear sleigh bells again, I’m actually gonna disintegrate. [verse 1 – 8 bars] It’s the start of December and I’m already losing it. They’ve been blasting carols since November first—yeah, I never stood a chance with it. Pumpkins were still rotting while “Joy to the World” played nonstop, Now every aisle’s a war zone and the holly won’t let up or stop. I’m dodging aisle speakers like they’re set to explode, ’Cause “Santa Baby” hits different when you’re in survival mode. Everyone’s jolly, and I’m already annoyed— It’s barely December, babe, and my peace is destroyed. [pre-chorus – 4 bars] I try to put my headphones on, but no—they ambush me again. My soul leaves my body every time someone starts that “pa-rum-pa-pum-pum.” [chorus – 8 bars] Deck the halls with my sanity, ’Cause it’s the only thing these carols haven’t stolen from me. Every mall, every ad, every radio line, Feels like Christmas is a cult and I’m trapped inside. I don’t hate the season, I hate the soundtrack— If one more choir pops off, I might never come back. Silent night? God, I wish— Please let me live without hearing one more festive hit. [verse 2 – 8 bars] My coworker’s been humming “Jingle Bells” since mid-July, Now they’re wearing reindeer ears—yeah, I wanna cry. I’m all for joy, but please, can we pick a different theme? Play literally anything else—hell, I’d take screamo on repeat. The commercials are worse than the songs, so you know— Fake families sipping cocoa like they’re in a Hallmark show. I’m hiding in my room like it’s a bunker from noise, Surrounded by jingles and too-happy boys. [pre-chorus – 4 bars] I used to like December, you know… before the playlist won. Now the drummer boy’s back with PTSD and I can’t outrun. [chorus – 8 bars] Deck the halls with my sanity, ’Cause it’s the only thing these carols haven’t stolen from me. Every mall, every ad, every radio line, Feels like Christmas is a cult and I’m trapped inside. I don’t hate the season, I hate the soundtrack— If one more choir starts up, I might never come back. Silent night? God, I wish— Please let me live without hearing one more festive hit. [bridge – 6 bars] I’m not a Grinch, I swear— I like lights, I like trees, I like cold winter air. But if another elf pipes up with high-pitched cheer, I’ll melt this whole snowman atmosphere. Take your mistletoe, take your carols—just take it all, Before I lose my mind in this tinsel-coated brawl. [breakdown – 4 bars] Stop. Turn it off. I beg you— TURN. IT. OFF. [final chorus – 8 bars] Deck the halls with my sanity, I’ve given everything that Christmas music demanded of me. Every speaker in town is a personal attack, And once December’s over, I am never looking back. I don’t hate Christmas—I just hate the playlist, And if you hit “repeat,” babe, I swear I won’t make it. Silent night? Please, God—just one… ’Til then I’m stuck here singing along against my will like a broken drum.
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