(Verse 1) I planned this out so carefully, I drew the map, I knew the way, I had the picture in my mind Of everything I'd have one day. I told myself I'd know it When it finally arrived — This is the dream I chased so long, This is what I always wanted. And I survived. (Pre-Chorus) So why am I standing here In the middle of it all, Feeling like I missed a step Somewhere along the hall? If I didn't know you, If I hadn't learned to feel — Maybe I'd believe the story That I'm telling. Maybe this would still seem real. (Chorus) This is what I always wanted, This is what I said I'd find, This is every answered wish That I was leaving far behind. This is what I always wanted — So why does wanting feel so thin? Like a room that has the furniture But nobody living in. This is what I always wanted. Isn't it? (Verse 2) I smile at all the right moments, I say the things that ought to fit, I wear the life I chose for myself Like it was made for me — a bit. And no one stops to question What's behind the careful shine — They see exactly what I show them, Every practiced, polished line. (Pre-Chorus) But there's a voice that asks me quietly When the room is dark and still — If I didn't know the difference, Would I notice? Would I feel? If I didn't know you, If I hadn't felt what's true — Would I be satisfied with all of this Or would I still Be reaching out for you? (Chorus) This is what I always wanted, This is what the plan had said, This is all the careful dreaming That I nurtured in my head. This is what I always wanted — But the wanting doesn't sing, It just sits there like a photograph Of a forgotten, perfect thing. This is what I always wanted. Isn't it. (Bridge) Maybe thoughtless is a kindness, Maybe knowing is the cost — You can't grieve the thing that's missing If you never knew you lost. But I know. I know. And I can't unknow it now. I know exactly what is missing And I know exactly how. (Final Chorus) This is what I always wanted, This is where I said I'd be, This is every careful choice I made That led me here to me. This is what I always wanted — And it's real, and it is mine. But the girl who didn't know you yet Could wear it so much finer. This is what I always wanted. (Outro - quietly) If I didn't know you… I think I would have been Just fine.
