PARDON THE PUN A Pillars of Light Comedy Song Intro (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen… Boys and girls… Before we begin… We sincerely apologise… (Beat) Pardon… the pun! ⸻ Verse 1 I tried to write a serious song… But that idea came undone. The lyrics got a little cheesy… Well… Pardon the pun! I’m not trying to string you along… Or tie you up for fun… But if you’re looking for deep philosophy… You’ve probably come undone! ⸻ Chorus **Pardon the pun… Pardon the play… Life’s too short… To be serious every day. If you groan… We’ve won… Mission accomplished… Pardon the pun!** ⸻ Verse 2 – Food Fight 🍎🥬🍩 Lettuce celebrate… Peas be kind… Orange you glad… You dropped by. I donut know… What’s gotten into me… This jam is spreading… Quite beautifully. You’re one in a melon… Sweet as pie… I loaf you dearly… No knead to cry! ⸻ Chorus Pardon the pun… Pardon the play… If your eyes just rolled… We’re okay! ⸻ Verse 3 – Nature Calls 🌳🌻 Leaf me smiling… Wood you see… I’m rooting for you… Naturally. Oak-ay then… I’ll branch out… I’m pine-ing… Without a doubt. I’ve got mushroom… For one more pun… Fern-tastic! We’re not yet done! ⸻ Verse 4 – Animal Kingdom 🐝🦙🦉🐋 Bee yourself… Owl be back… Whale hello… Fancy that! No prob-llama… Alpaca lunch… I’m otterly… Out of touch! You’re pawsome… Seal the deal… This song’s getting… Quite surreal! ⸻ Verse 5 – Music 🎶 Note bad… Treble maker… Major laughs… No heartbreaker. Don’t B-flat… Stay in key… Life’s much better… Harmony. ⸻ Bridge If you came… For wisdom deep… We’ve wandered… Off the beaten sheep. If laughter is… The best medicine… This song should… Come with a prescription! ⸻ Final Chorus **Pardon the pun… Pardon the play… May your smile… Last all day. If you chuckled… Just a bit… Then every pun… Was worth it!** ⸻ Grand Finale (everyone shouting) “Lettuce go!” “Orange you glad!” “No prob-llama!” “Bee yourself!” “Owl be there!” “Whale done!” “You’re one in a melon!” “Alpaca my bags!” “That was pawsome!” “Wood you believe it?” “Nacho average song!” (Music suddenly stops.) One voice: ”…Okay… I think that’s enough.” Another voice: “Sorry…” EVERYONE: PARDON THE PUN!! (Huge laugh… applause… one final rimshot…)
