BARBERSHOP QUARTET: Dark (Remix) Revival Ex

industrial riddim dubstep, dark industrial techno, aggressive phonk

[Verse 1]
I’m out of my mind, I’m a menace, a critic of cringe and dissenters, I enter
The grocery store, stopping right dead in the center
Of aisle four, blocking the cart with the dented-in fender
And wondering why people stare when I’m holding the lemon meringue and the blender—
Wait, back up, let me reset it, I’m getting ahead of the cadence,
The world is a circus, these humans are testing my patience!
They’re walking three-wide on the sidewalk, obstructing the pavement,
And whispering gossip while looking right at me and making statements!
So I channel the wrath of the titans, the aura of violence,
For anyone typing a text and then hitting me with just a single letter "k" while I’m pouring my heart out in silence!
You think you’re untouchable? Bulletproof? Clever?
I’ll slap the designer right off of your sweater,
I’m wetter than weather, I’m better whenever
I step to the mic—wait, no, step to the light—
Look, I don’t care if you’re polite, you’re chewing too loud and it’s keeping me up at night!

[Verse 2]
I pull up to the four-way stop with a scowl on my face,
And three different cars wave each other across at the exact same pace!
Nobody's moving! It's vehicular gridlock of absolute grace!
I punch the gas pedal, I'm shifting the gear in a frenzy, I'm leaving a trace
Of absolute fury and cosmic defiance,
I’m breaking the laws of physics, logistics, and neighborhood science!
You’re staring right at me like "Bro, what's your problem?",
I’ll walk up and solve 'em, untangle and vault 'em,
I’m serving up slaps like a cafeteria goblin!
You thought you were safe in your Prius, idling slow in the fast lane?
I’ll quantum-entangle your bumper and shatter your pane with my fast brain!

[The Speed Section]
[Fast Flow]
Uh, summa-slumma dooma-slumma you’re gonna catch a palm, man
Writing a check at the register while holding up the whole clan
Acting like you never seen a debit card or plastic in your left hand
Better step back before I open up a can
Of instant telemetry, geometry, telemetry, energy, penalty, remedy—
Wait, let me catch my breath.
Enemy, felony, shreddin' the melody, melanin, weaponry, felony, pedestals—
NOPE.
Back on the beat, see, I’m lethal, I’m equal to evil, I treat all the people who stream illegal content like a regal official of chaos and streaming police!
Did you hear that? That was the sound of reality hitting you square in the jaw!
I’m violating the laws of physics, linguistics, and common decorum,
Walking right into the forum and clearing the floor 'cause I’m bored of 'em!

[Bridge]
They said, "Eminem wouldn't do this."
Bro, Eminem’s writing songs about his daughter and rap battles.
I’m out here fighting people who don't use their blinkers at four-way stops and people who leave shopping carts loose in the middle of parking stalls!
We are not the same! I am built different! I am the absolute zenith of irritation!

[Verse 3]
So don’t test my limits, I’m infinite, bringing the rhythm and blistering syntax,
Taxing your patience with multi-syllabic and lyrical kickbacks,
Slapping the nonsense right out of the universe, setting the trap max,
No turning back when the slaps start to echo across all the galactic tracks!
I’m pacing the floor and I’m ready to erupt,
If you utter one word about brunch or crypto, your day is corrupted!
I’m dropping the hammer, the anvil, the lightning, the thunder,
Pulling you under the waves of comedic and lyrical plunder!

[Outro]
(Fast fade-out with echo)
I’m the Slap God.
Not the Rap God.
The Slap God.
Stop chewing with your mouth open.
SMACK.
(Beat cuts abruptly)

3949/7500

[Intro] Look, I was gonna wait for you to finish your entire life story, But you’ve been standing in the middle of the grocery store aisle talking about your dog's vegan diet for twenty minutes and my sanity is legally expiring. Oh, you wanna debate public etiquette? Bitch, PAW! Yeah. Let me just clear my throat, grab the mic, and dismantle your entire existence real quick. [Verse 1] I’m out of my mind, I’m a menace, a critic of cringe and dissenters, I enter The grocery store, stopping right dead in the center Of aisle four, blocking the cart with the dented-in fender And wondering why people stare when I’m holding the lemon meringue and the blender— Wait, back up, let me reset it, I’m getting ahead of the cadence, The world is a circus, these humans are testing my patience! They’re walking three-wide on the sidewalk, obstructing the pavement, And whispering gossip while looking right at me and making statements! So I channel the wrath of the titans, the aura of violence, For anyone typing a text and then hitting me with just a single letter "k" while I’m pouring my heart out in silence! You think you’re untouchable? Bulletproof? Clever? I’ll slap the designer right off of your sweater, I’m wetter than weather, I’m better whenever I step to the mic—wait, no, step to the light— Look, I don’t care if you’re polite, you’re chewing too loud and it’s keeping me up at night! [Verse 2] I pull up to the four-way stop with a scowl on my face, And three different cars wave each other across at the exact same pace! Nobody's moving! It's vehicular gridlock of absolute grace! I punch the gas pedal, I'm shifting the gear in a frenzy, I'm leaving a trace Of absolute fury and cosmic defiance, I’m breaking the laws of physics, logistics, and neighborhood science! You’re staring right at me like "Bro, what's your problem?", I’ll walk up and solve 'em, untangle and vault 'em, I’m serving up slaps like a cafeteria goblin! You thought you were safe in your Prius, idling slow in the fast lane? I’ll quantum-entangle your bumper and shatter your pane with my fast brain! [The Speed Section] [Fast Flow] Uh, summa-slumma dooma-slumma you’re gonna catch a palm, man Writing a check at the register while holding up the whole clan Acting like you never seen a debit card or plastic in your left hand Better step back before I open up a can Of instant telemetry, geometry, telemetry, energy, penalty, remedy— Wait, let me catch my breath. Enemy, felony, shreddin' the melody, melanin, weaponry, felony, pedestals— NOPE. Back on the beat, see, I’m lethal, I’m equal to evil, I treat all the people who stream illegal content like a regal official of chaos and streaming police! Did you hear that? That was the sound of reality hitting you square in the jaw! I’m violating the laws of physics, linguistics, and common decorum, Walking right into the forum and clearing the floor 'cause I’m bored of 'em! [Bridge] They said, "Eminem wouldn't do this." Bro, Eminem’s writing songs about his daughter and rap battles. I’m out here fighting people who don't use their blinkers at four-way stops and people who leave shopping carts loose in the middle of parking stalls! We are not the same! I am built different! I am the absolute zenith of irritation! [Verse 3] So don’t test my limits, I’m infinite, bringing the rhythm and blistering syntax, Taxing your patience with multi-syllabic and lyrical kickbacks, Slapping the nonsense right out of the universe, setting the trap max, No turning back when the slaps start to echo across all the galactic tracks! I’m pacing the floor and I’m ready to erupt, If you utter one word about brunch or crypto, your day is corrupted! I’m dropping the hammer, the anvil, the lightning, the thunder, Pulling you under the waves of comedic and lyrical plunder! [Outro] (Fast fade-out with echo) I’m the Slap God. Not the Rap God. The Slap God. Stop chewing with your mouth open. SMACK. (Beat cuts abruptly)

0/500