The Whitelist of Holy Internet

The internet is wild, a dark and stormy sea, Full of trolls and drama and cyber-misery. But there’s a secret garden where no bad rumors grow, A holy sanctuary where only angels go. It’s the Internet Whitelist, so pure and so divine, Where every single website is a sacred little shrine. Oh, the Whitelist! The Whitelist! As innocent and clear as a baby’s fresh tear! It’s full of blinding light and angelic peace, Where the malware and the pop-ups finally cease. No sin, no shame, no dirty little secrets to hide, Just pure, unadulterated goodness inside! I look into the mirror, I see my messy life, The petty little grudges, the laziness, the strife. I’ve got a million errors, my code is full of flaws, I break social rules and horizontal laws. So I don’t want to wait until I’m buried in the ground, I want to be a Whitelist while I’m still walking round! Oh, make me a Whitelist! A Whitelist! As innocent and clear as a baby’s fresh tear! Let everyone see only the beautiful and bright, A walking, talking monument of holy cyber-light! No sin, no shame, no dirty little secrets to hide, Just pure, unadulterated goodness inside! Don’t look at my real server, don’t check my history, The real me is a chaotic, buggy mystery. Just block the bad realities, delete my inner spam, And let the world believe that I’m a perfect little lamb! Yes, I am a Whitelist! A Whitelist! As innocent and clear as a baby’s fresh tear! They look at me and sigh, "Oh, he's basically a saint!" Completely blind to the fact that a saint I definitely ain't! No sin, no shame, no dirty little secrets to hide, Just pure, unadulterated goodness inside! Access granted. To my soul. Only the good stuff allowed. Error 404: Bad vibes not found. Amen.