[Intro] [Audience laughter] [Verse 1: Male] You asked me what I want for dinner, I said, “Whatever sounds just right.” You named six things; I said, “I’m easy.” Then vetoed every one that night. [Verse 2: Female] You stood there by the open fridge Like it might tell you who you are. You said, “There’s nothing here to eat,” Beside a pie and cheese and jar. [Audience laughter] [Chorus: Both] We’re making plans, we’re changing plans, We’re hungry, but we can’t decide! You pick a place, I say “That’s great”— Then ask how far and what’s inside. We’ll split the check, we’ll split a fry, Then guard that last one with our lives! It’s ordinary, it’s absurd, Two grown-ups trying to order fries! [Verse 3: Female] I sent you one small grocery list: “Just bread and eggs, and maybe tea.” You came back proud with twelve kinds of chips And asked, “Which bread did you mean?” [Verse 4: Male] You said, “I’m ready in a minute,” I put my shoes on by the door. I watched the clock, I watched a show, You said, “Why are you rushing for?” [Audience laughter] [Bridge: Both] The package says, “Easy assembly,” The tiny wrench is made of tin. We’ve got one screw left over— Should we be worried? Don’t look in! [Chorus: Both] We’re making plans, we’re changing plans, We’re hungry, but we can’t decide! You pick a place, I say “That’s great”— Then ask how far and what’s inside. We’ll split the check, we’ll split a fry, Then guard that last one with our lives! It’s ordinary, it’s absurd, Two grown-ups trying to order fries! [Outro: Male] So what’s for dinner? [Outro: Female] Whatever sounds just right. [Outro: Both] Let’s order pizza. [Audience laughter and applause]
