Your dog barks at the mailman every single day Like it's the first time a human walked that way Your dog barks at the wind like wind owes him money Your dog barks at the sun and it isn't even sunny I've timed it — fourteen hours of continuous opinion Your dog has thoughts on everything in his dominion (clap, clap, clap) At a leaf (clap, clap, clap) At his own feet (clap, clap, clap) At the concept of silence itself Your dog barks at everything and nothing at all At thunder, at shadows, at birds on the wall At joggers, at strollers, at clouds passing through Your dog barks at everything — does he bark at you? Your dog barks at everything — it's his only review And he gives it — five stars — to the moon I bought noise-canceling headphones — state of the art I put up a sound wall — he tore it apart I tried a white noise machine set to "ocean sounds" But your dog harmonized until the ocean drowned I'll say this for your dog — he's committed to the art He barks with his whole chest, his whole soul, his whole heart (clap, clap, clap) At a squirrel (clap, clap, clap) At a girl (clap, clap, clap) At the absolute audacity of a butterfly Your dog barks at everything, including my car At the garbage truck, the ice cream truck, a parked truck from afar At children on bicycles, at rain on the glass Your dog barks at everything — including the grass Your dog barks at everything — with unrelenting class And I — I can't even be mad Here's the thing I won't admit to anyone I heard your dog bark at three AM for fun And I got up to close the window, preparing to shout But he was sitting in the moonlight, tail out Just barking at the stars like they might bark back And I thought — you know what, buddy? ...Same Your dog barks at everything and I've made my peace With the soundtrack of my life that will never cease He barks at my morning and barks at my night Your dog barks at everything — and maybe he's right Your dog barks at everything — with bottomless delight And I — wouldn't change a thing Okay, I'd change the 3 AM thing But everything else — we're good
