WHEN I WAS THE FIRE Written by Brian Ketchum [Verse 1] We were young enough to call them dragons, Running where most men would run away. I trusted you behind me in the smoke, You trusted me the same. Years went by, the sirens got much quieter, You went chasing something more. And every time you asked me to believe, I walked through one more door. [Pre-Chorus] ‘Cause that’s what brothers do— Or that’s what I believed. [Chorus] You stood beside me when the houses burned, When the ceiling might come down. But when the fire got inside of me, You were nowhere to be found. You said I fed the flames by thinking them, Like pain was mine to choose. Funny, you would walk through fire beside me— Till I was the fire And you had something to lose. [Verse 2] You talked about believing hard enough, Calling blessings into being. Bent a verse until it said the things You already were believing. You told me God rewards the faithful, While you measured grace in gold. But I’ve never seen a hearse pull a trailer, And I’ve never seen a soul get sold. [Pre-Chorus] I don’t need a God Who only loves me when I win. [Chorus] You stood beside me when the houses burned, When the ceiling might come down. But when the fire got inside of me, You were nowhere to be found. You said I fed the flames by thinking them, Like pain was mine to choose. Funny, you would walk through fire beside me— Till I was the fire And you had something to lose. [Bridge] Jesus never told the broken, “You thought yourself this way.” He touched the ones nobody wanted, And He wept beside a grave. He didn’t promise me a fortune. He promised not to leave. So when you said my darkness was my doing, I learned which voice to believe. [Final Chorus] You stood beside me when the houses burned, I would’ve died in one for you. That’s the part that still cuts deepest— I thought you’d do the same thing too. But Christ walked into every room You decided not to see. You blamed me for the fire inside— He sat down in the ashes with me. [Outro] I don’t hate you. That’s not mine to do. I just learned a man can fight a fire beside you And still walk away from you.
