[hook – opening] we in the triangle of trouble— where the freaks never sink, they bubble! if you see a tentacle, don’t struggle— just pass the snacks and join the huddle! yeah, triangle of trouble— if your gee.pee.ess. quits, that’s double! when the grey rolls up and the kraken want cuddles— you party or get in the puddle! [verse 1] boat engine coughin’, waves hissin’ low, moon lookin’ sideways like it’s in on the show. took a cheap cruise past the safe-line sign, figured i’d fish, sip shine, waste some time. then the compass started spinnin’ like a drunk roulette wheel, water slapped the hull like it had somethin’ to feel. tentacle tapped twice— “howdy again, friend.” i said, “please tell me this ain’t happenin’ again.” kraken popped up yellin’, “where’s the snacks?” i said, “eight arms, big guy—go get your own damn packs.” then a ufo hit the ocean with a splash and a beam, grey floated up and said, “sup… nice boat. weird dream.” [pre-hook] déjà-boo in the water tonight, cryptid reunion under glitch-moonlight. i came out fishin’, now the whole sea’s alive— somebody tell me why the ocean’s got a nightlife. [hook] we in the triangle of trouble— where the freaks never sink, they bubble! if you see a tentacle, don’t struggle— just pass the snacks and join the huddle! yeah, triangle of trouble— if your gee.pee.ess. quits, that’s double! when the grey rolls up and the kraken want cuddles— you party or get in the puddle! [verse 2] ghost pirate captain slid outta the foam, said, “your moonshine’s cursed—now this boat’s your home.” skeletal crew with gold-grill smiles, drink stolen rum like they been here for miles. then i heard a hiss and froze on deck— mer-possum crawlin’ up like, “what you got next?” trash-bag tail drippin’, eyes full of spite, stole my chips and vanished in the night. i yelled, “hey! give those back!” grey just shook his head. “he’s not really hungry.” “then what?” “emotionally fed.” then the kraken leaned over, gave the mer-possum a stare, mer-possum dropped my chips like, “okay, fair.” i picked up the bag, looked inside and frowned— “y’all ate all the good ones.” kraken said, “we found ’em.” [pre-hook 2] the waves start laughin’, the fog starts glowin’, something underneath us keeps slowly growin’. i said, “grey, buddy, should i be concerned?” he said, “probably.” then the whole boat turned. [hook] triangle of trouble— where the weird get weirder and double! if you hear tentacle knuckles— that’s a hug… or a squish… don’t tussle! yeah, triangle of trouble— you ain’t lost, you’re vee.eye. pee., subtle! if the ghost crew chants and the grey looks puzzled— you dance till your lungs refuddle! [rap break] kraken rollin’ eight blunts like a cephalo-poet, grey sparked somethin’ neon—said, “you probably shouldn’t know it.” pirate moonwalkin’ on a plank mid-air, mer-possum hiss-laughin’ with seaweed in his hair. then the ship rose straight up, no waves, no mast, grey looked at me and said, “gravity’s kinda gassed.” ocean went vertical, stars took a dive, kraken spread his arms and said, “welcome to the wet party life!” i said, “is this normal?” grey said, “not for you.” i said, “how long we stayin’?” he said, “until the ocean turns blue.” i looked down. the ocean was purple. i said, “well… that feels like a bad sign.” [bridge] if you see the moon reflected underneath, and hear eight little footsteps walkin’ on the deep— don’t panic. don’t run. don’t ask why. just hold onto your banjo and enjoy the ride. [final hook] triangle of trouble— deep-sea rave in a cosmic puddle! if you vanish tonight, don’t struggle— you just got promoted to the snuggle-bubble! yeah, triangle of trouble— when earth gets boring, we shuttle! tell my lady i’m safe, just dunked in a cuddle— with a kraken… and a grey… and a mer-possum… and apparently the whole damn crew. [outro] [watery banjo harmonic] …i ain’t drownin’. [beat] i’m thrivin’. [sonar ping] …somebody tell my boat that.
