Thunder cracks across the sky! A sulfur wind begins to rise! I hear the chanting from below— Something wicked starts to grow! A cursed burrito sealed my fate, Now Hell itself inhabits my plate! Deep beneath forgotten tombs, Past rivers made of fire and gloom, A Greater Demon forged in hate Awoke beyond the infernal gate. He did not seek a king or crown, He didn't want to burn towns down. His darkest goal, his vile desire: To set my digestive tract on fire! Red eyes glaring from within, A battle no one else can win! The priests all fled, the wizards cried: "May the gods stand by your side!" LORD OF THE ABYSSAL BOWEL! MASTER OF THE ODOUR MOST FOUL! POSSESSOR OF MY INNER REALM, HE'S TAKEN COMMAND OF THE PORCELEN HELM! FROM THE PIT HE MAKES HIS THRONE! TURNING PEACE TO MOANS AND GROANS! NO HOLY BLADE CAN SET ME FREE— MY BOWELS HAVE DECLARED WAR ON ME! I sought a sage atop the peak, A thousand-year-old mystique. He gazed at me and shook his head: "Your intestines are the demon's bed." I tried enchanted herbal tea, A sacred rite of alchemy. The fiend just laughed from down below: "Nice attempt—now watch the chaos grow!" [Guitar Solo] I challenged him in single combat! Armed with antacids and a battle hat! The demon roared with molten pride: "You cannot stop what dwells inside!" The mountains trembled at his name! The oceans boiled with gastric flame! The heavens wept, the angels ran— This horror was beyond their plan! BLEGH! SEAL THE GATES! RAISE THE WALLS! THE BOWEL LORD HEEDS NO CALLS! RATTLE THE CHAINS! SOUND THE HORN! CURSE THE DAY THAT I WAS BORN! BOWEL LORD OF THE FLAMING RING! ARCHDUKE OF DIGESTIVE STING! HE FEEDS ON GASTROINTESTINAL FEAR, AND SOMEHOW KEEPS REAPPEARING HERE! DEMON KING OF INTERNAL STRIFE! TORMENTOR OF MY DAILY LIFE! UNTIL THE END OF TIME I'LL SEE— HELL'S ODORUS POTTY ENTITY! [Outro] As darkness falls, I hear him say: "We'll do this all again later today..." [Distant demonic laughter...]
