[Verse 1] Big-boned beauty Buffet lady Dancing on the steam-tray line Pretty hefty Moving lefty Crushing rolls beneath her thighs Jesus freaks out When she reaches For the final chicken wing Looking hungry Moving slowly Then the whole damn building swings [Pre-Chorus] And now she’s in me Always with me Tiny booth can barely hold her Counting calories Isn’t likely She just asked for extra cobbler [Chorus] Hold me closer, humongous dancer Count the meatballs on the platter Lay me down in sheets of bacon You had twenty, what’s one fatter? Hold me closer, humongous dancer Watch her shake the salad counter She came in for just one helping Now they’re closing down around her [Verse 2] Golden Corral Staff in peril Manager is on the phone Children crying Fryers dying Someone guard the waffle cones She’s a ballerina By the wieners Doing splits beside the ham One more rotation Carb creation Now she’s swimming through the jam [Pre-Chorus] But she’s still standing Tables bending While the busboys run for cover Cheese is flowing No one’s knowing How she found another supper [Chorus] Hold me closer, humongous dancer Count the meatballs on the platter Lay me down in sheets of bacon You had twenty, what’s one fatter? Hold me closer, humongous dancer Watch her shake the salad counter She came in for just one helping Now they’re closing down around her [Instrumental Break – sentimental piano and sweeping strings, played with ridiculous sincerity] [Bridge] The carving man has lost his faith The soft-serve machine has sealed its fate The chocolate fountain’s running dry She points at heaven, starts to fly One trembling leap above the food A graceful queen in a hungry mood She lands among the dinner bread The sneeze guard cracks above her head [Final Chorus] Hold me closer, humongous dancer Count the drumsticks on the platter Wrap me up in melted butter At this point, it hardly matters Hold me closer, humongous dancer Buffet queen and countertop prancer She may never leave this building But we’ll always dance around her [Outro] Big-boned beauty Buffet lady Dancing where the meatloaf lay Plates are empty Floor is listing But she’ll be back again someday
