[Intro: twangy Telecaster lick, train-beat shuffle kicks in] [Verse 1] Monday through Friday I type up the bulletin Fold it in thirds and I staple it straight Pastor says, Darlene, you're steady as Sunday Pastor ain't seen me at the fairground gate Wade's in the pit in that Chevy Caprice Same one he drove when he drove off with Denise Eleven Augusts he's the last car running Eleven Augusts I been praying for peace [Pre-Chorus] Good Book says to turn the other cheek So I'm turning, Lord, I'm turning hard Throw it in reverse, 'cause in a demolition derby You hit 'em with the trunk and save your heart [Chorus] Welded doors, I climb in through the window Helmet strapped and my Bible on the dash Welded doors, I can't get out and you can't get in Lord, forgive me for the joy of this crash [Verse 2] Got a '74 Electra white as a choir robe John three sixteen on the trunk in red The Methodist women made a bedsheet banner Thou Shalt Not Lose is what the banner said Denise is in the bleachers with a foam finger Wade's flexing out the window like he's twenty two Announcer calls me Holy Roller, flag comes down And I'm coming in backwards, Wade, I'm coming for you [Pre-Chorus] Good Book says to turn the other cheek So I'm turning, Lord, I'm turning hard Throw it in reverse, 'cause in a demolition derby You hit 'em with the trunk and save your heart [Chorus] Welded doors, I climb in through the window Helmet strapped and my Bible on the dash Welded doors, I can't get out and you can't get in Lord, forgive me for the joy of this crash [Instrumental: Telecaster and pedal steel trade licks] [Bridge: stop-time hits on each count] One's for the Easter that you didn't come home Two's for the alimony check that's late Three's for the dog that you took to Tulsa Four's for me, and Lord, it felt so great [Final Chorus: kids cheer from the grandstand, very low, background only] Welded doors, I climb in through the window (Go, Miss Darlene!) Helmet strapped and my Bible on the dash Welded doors, I can't get out and you can't get in (Go, Miss Darlene!) Lord, forgive me for the joy of this crash Welded doors, and the radiator's steaming Last car running at the Pike County Fair Welded doors, I can't get out and you can't get in And honey, I don't care [Outro: shuffle drops to Telecaster and voice] Monday I'm back at the bulletin Fold it in thirds and I staple it straight Prayer list says Wade, for a speedy recovery I typed it in bold, and I spelled it great
