The Thirsty Goose - The Boozy Balladeers #TheTavern

(Verse 1) There’s a place on the shores where the beer never ends, Where the barkeep’s your cousin and your ex and your friend. Where the tales are all taller than the church’s old steeple, And the toilets, they sing when they’re full of drunk people! (Chorus) Ohh, The Thirsty Goose! Where the ale flows loose! Where the floors are slick and the morals reduce! From Port Hope’s heart to the back alley noose, We toast our fate at The Thirsty Goose! 🎵 (Verse 2) I once met a maiden with hair like a flame, She drank me to ruin then forgot my name. She kissed like a curse and she slapped like a mule— But I still send her flowers... and my bar tab, the fool. (Chorus) Ohh, The Thirsty Goose! With the one-pint truce! Where friendships form and then instantly deuce! Where the walls have ears, and the geese have teeth— And no one remembers what’s underneath! 🎵 (Bridge – spoken, over a slow fiddle): “They say the founder was a sailor... or a bard... or a goose possessed by a drinking spirit. Either way, there’s feathers in the stew again.” (Verse 3) Old Bessie the barmaid’s ninety and spry, She’ll outdrink a troll and still wink at your thigh. And behind the main bar is a ghost named McSpleen— Who haunts every keg and calls you obscene. (Final Chorus) Ohh, The Thirsty Goose! Let the rafters shake loose! We’re tipsy, we’re shouty, we’re full of excuse! If you seek the truth, go ask the caboose— It’s parked out back of The Thirsty Goose! 🎵 (Outro) Goose! Goose! Goose! Goose! (HONK!)