[Spoken Word] Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm. There's absolutely nothing to worry about. I have calculated the odds of survival, and I'm pleased to report... I'm probably wrong. Oh, my apologies. [Verse 1] My name is Maxis Failster, Max Fail for short Four-foot-nine encourager in a tweed jacket for thirty-eight years young with a brilliant mind Though my hairlines retreating, my spirit's inclined I'm a chemist by trade, got a lab coat at home I can turn to clear liquids into radioactive foam I've got goggles, beakers, formulas galore And a tendency to blow a small hole in the floor I may be short, I may be stout I may have knocked the front door out But when the world is going wrong, I dust myself off and sing my song The odds say one in a million The odds say don't even try The odds say Max, you're finished I just smile and reply Well, that's a rather troubling statistic, but let's give it another try [Chorus] Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail I stumble on the stairs, but I never stay down I crash through the ceiling and save the whole town Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail When the laws of reality break I'm the walking catastrophe that nobody can shake My plans may crumble, my inventions derail But you can't defeat the undefeated Mr. Fail I'm sorry, excuse me, pardon the trail I'm the hero who always prevails [Verse 2] Was that supposed to happen? The villain approaches with armor of steel A titanium helmet and nerves made of steel He laughs, little man, you're a miserable joke Then his jetpack malfunctions and sets fire to cloak His laser gun jams, his targeting's gone His getaway vehicle's playing a song The bridge falls apart, his fortress caves in And somehow the villain gets hit by a dolphin I haven't thrown a punch, haven't lifted a hand I just say the master plan has completely derailed Goodness gracious, nice so sorry, my apologies have failed He's flat like a pancake, he's survived every fall I've mixed up my formulas, reversed every switch And accidentally saved the world from the villainous switch I don't need perfection, I don't need fame I just get back up and try again Forget about the bubbles, my blueprints derail When aren't you getting back up when you've lost it all? [Chorus] Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail My clumsy and quirky, and I'm already rebel But I always bounce back and I always prevail And you probably gonna lose your fifth bottle of the spell Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing things right When the smoke clears away and there's no end in sight When my latest invention lies broken in tents There is no, no, nowhere the missile went With failure to teacher and hoping is my veil Let the universe be fire to assure I fail I'll keep helping the helpless, I'll keep doing my best With a heart full of courage and a tweed-covered chest [Outro] Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail Raise the banners of chaos, let the trumpets resound There's a four-foot-nine miracle's in this town There's a four-foot-nine miracle's in this town Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail We can save the whole universe while falling in a trap These enemies panic, their weapons all fail The fortress is crumbling and the southern is whale Mr. Fail, Mr. Fail Though the odds are impossible, the atmosphere's out With a spectacle's coming, that is stunning as well The kingdom of calamity, descendant of mail The hero who rises, the man who won't fail [Spoken Word] Failster. Would you maybe a- V- or Is- or Fair or any other? And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes my demonstration of the world's first perpetual motion reactor. Oh, drat.
