[Intro] (Soft felt piano only. Empty room. Long silence before vocal. Subtle natural room echo.) [Verse 1] There’s a house at the back of the years that I was, and the door has no lock, and the lamp’s always on. [pause — long silence] I go in to remember the sound of your voice… and you’re there, in the kitchen,…though you’ve long been gone. [pause — long silence] I can sit at the table; I can pour some cold tea, I can live in an afternoon of just you and me, I can hold all the words that we never set free… but the longer I stay there,…. [pause] the longer I bleed. [Pre-Chorus] [pause] So I’m learning the thing that a heart cannot bear: to keep every room, every word, every stare, and still open the hand that is breaking to hold… [pause — long silence] ’cause love comes… [long broken breath] and grief comes… [pause — long silence] and both must unfold. [Chorus] The past is where I go to remember… the past is where I go to forget. [pause — long silence] I cannot keep love without keeping the wound of it… [pause] no song without silence, no life without death. [pause — long silence] So I gather you close till my whole body trembles, then I soften the grip and begin to let go. And I carry you out in the weight of my heart, love: [pause] I remember, to keep you… I forget you, to grow. [Instrumental Break] [Verse 2] No one tells you that love is a threshold you cross… [pause — long silence] that the moment you take it, you take the unknown. [pause — long silence] that the moment you take it, you take the unknown. [pause — long silence] that each hand you hold close, you are learning to bury… that each hello’s a slow walk toward standing alone. [pause — long silence] And the cruelest, most merciful truth of it all… [pause — long silence] that the deeper the love, the greater the cost. So I won’t take it back, not a day, not an hour: I will pay every tear… it was worth what I lost. [Instrumental Break 2] [Chorus 2] The past is where I go to remember, the past is where I go to forget… [pause — long silence] I cannot keep love without keeping the wound of it… no song without silence, no life without death. [pause — long silence] So I gather you close till my whole body trembles, then I soften my hands and begin to let go. And I carry you out in the weight of my heart, love: [pause] I remember, to keep you… [pause] I forget you, to grow. [Bridge] So I stand at the door of the house that was us… with my palm turned to ice on the latch, and I know [pause — long silence, voice failing] that you’re saying: “Live... [pause — long silence] I’m not in the keeping… you don’t lose what you've loved when you let it all go.” [pause — long silence] So I walk into morning, and bring you along… not in grief, not in chains, but in light, and in song. [pause — long silence] There is no more house… there is no more yearning… [pause] You are everywhere now… you are returning. [Final Refrain] The past is where I go to remember… the past is where I go to forget. [pause — long silence] I am carrying you… in the keeping, the leaving, the loving, the losing, the not-finished-yet. [Outro] …there’s a house at the back of the years that I was… [long broken breath — voice trails off] so I leave the lamp on… [long silence] the way love… always does… [final aching humming]
