Cross addict

[Verse 1] First time that I saw that cross ❌ Little red line on a cheap white cloth Told myself "only once Then stop" Hands shook But I still took that shot Friends laughed "you’ll be fine Just try" Passed that cross like a high-five sky One hit Then another to the eye Blink twice And a year slid by [Chorus] Too many crosses ❌ on this table Too many crosses ❌ in my veins Thought they’d hold me when I wasn’t able Now they’re carving out my name Every cross ❌ that I kept tracing Etched a crack through my own mind Too many crosses I kept chasing Till that last one crossed the line [Verse 2] Mama called I let it ring Stared at that cross like a diamond ring Promised it all of my hurt and sting Gave it my nights It took everything Lost my job for a borrowed rush Traded birthdays for a powdered hush Late texts "you good?" I’d say "I’m cool" While another cross turned my tongue to wool [Chorus] Too many crosses ❌ on this table Too many crosses ❌ in my veins Thought they’d hold me when I wasn’t able Now they’re carving out my name Every cross ❌ that I kept tracing Etched a crack through my own mind Too many crosses I kept chasing Till that last one crossed the line [Bridge] Woke up cold with the sun turned gray Cross ❌ on my chest where my heartbeat lay Tried to stand But my legs just swayed Heard my own breath quietly fade (oh) Sirens scream Faces blur Lights spin See my friends crying while they cut my skin In the mirror of a paramedic’s eye I finally see what I let me die [Chorus] Too many crosses ❌ on this table Too many crosses ❌ in my veins Thought they’d hold me when I wasn’t able Now they’re carving out my name Every cross ❌ that I kept tracing Was a tally on borrowed time Too many crosses I kept chasing Now that last one crossed my line [Outro] Tag on my toe Little chalk white cross ❌ Room full of echoes counting up the cost If you see that sign Don’t follow mine One cross is already one too many lines