The Pet Panic Parade

🎭🐐🐦‍⬛ ═════════════════════ 🐦‍⬛🐐🎭 # **THE PET PANIC PARADE** ** inspired by @gatlori ### **One Night Only!** #### *A Civic Folk-Tragedy in Several Unverified Acts* 🎭🐐🐦‍⬛ ═════════════════════🐦‍⬛🐐🎭 **Tonight’s cast includes:** The Mayor in Pots and Plates The Goat on a Purple Motorbike The Pigeon Council A Sheriff Llama One Very Serious Hamster And an Entire Town With No Facts --- ## **ACT I ... THE RUMOUR ENTERS TOWN** > They’re eating the dogs. > They’re eating the cats. > They’re eating the pets > of the people that live there. *Mandolin tremolo. A goose exits stage left.* --- ## **ACT II ... THE MAYOR’S HELMET** At dawn the mayor wore a helmet made of pots and shattered plates. He said the pigeons held a meeting and were guarding all the gates. Mrs. Bell brought twelve umbrellas, Pete arrived with seven geese. Every dog wore tiny goggles, every cat demanded peace. The barber yelled down from the rooftop, “Hide your sandwich, lock the door!” Then a goat rode past the courthouse on a purple motorbike. --- # **THE GREAT PANIC CHORUS** **They’re eating the dogs!** **They’re eating the cats!** **They’re eating the pets** **of the people in flats!** **Hey!** Hide your biscuits! Guard your hats! The town has gone feral and nobody knows facts! --- ## **ACT III ... THE MUFFIN PROPHECY** The bakery sold emergency muffins, the library handed out forks. A hamster held a press conference from inside a box of corks. A llama wore the sheriff’s badge, a goldfish ran the train. The mayor blamed the moon at noon then vanished down a drain. A woman with a trumpet screamed, “My parrot saw the sign!” The sign said “Bring your own banana, everything will be fine.” --- # **THE GREAT PANIC CHORUS** **They’re eating the dogs!** **They’re eating the cats!** **They’re eating the pets** **of the people in flats!** **Hey!** Hide your biscuits! Guard your hats! The town has gone feral and nobody knows facts! --- ## **INTERMISSION ... MANDOLIN PANIC SOLO** *Banjo gallops.* *The mandolin loses all professionalism.* *The Goat returns for an encore.* --- ## **ACT IV ... THE WATER TOWER COUNCIL** Then all the animals gathered underneath the water tower. The cats wore crowns of parsley, the dogs had stolen power. They looked down at the screaming people, then the oldest raven spoke: > “Stop yelling at each other. > You’re the ones who started this joke.” --- ## **ACT V ... THE GOAT RETURNS** The town went quiet for a moment. Then the goat revved up again. The mayor found his missing sandwich. Everybody lost their minds. --- # **FINAL CURTAIN ... THE PET PANIC PARADE** They’re eating the dogs! They’re eating the cats! They’re eating the pets of the people in flats! Hey! Hide your biscuits! Guard your hats! The town has gone feral and nobody knows facts! Dogs in the garden! Cats on the roof! Goats in the courthouse! Where is the proof? Clap for the pigeons! Bow to the rats! The Pet Panic Parade is coming back! --- ### **EPILOGUE** The pets were fine. The town was weird. 🎭🐐🐦‍⬛ ═════════════════════ 🐦‍⬛🐐🎭 © 2026 by ꧁༺ Tαɾʝα ༻꧂ | AI-GENERATED CONTENT | gem. Art. 50 EU AI Act - Verordnung (EU) 2024/1689 [Search Tags] [Genre: Newgrass Folk, Speed-Folktronica] [Vibe: Chaotic, Satirical, Frantic, Feverish, Theatrical, Feral, Completely Unverified] [Origin: Tarja, 2026, Tarja Ravenveil] [Instrumentation: Clawhammer Banjo, Neapolitan Mandolin, Tagelharpa, War Drums, Upright Bass, Frame Drum, Handclaps]