[Intro] (Fast, bouncy acoustic guitar pluck and a tin whistle jig) Hey! Ho! Welcome to the counter! What's a fae to do with a cleaver? Listen close! [Verse 1] Beneath the fluorescent hum of the Hy-Vee aisle I wear a paper hat and a wicked little smile Weighing up the ribeyes, wrapping up the pork I'm a goblin in an apron, far away from Cork! Grinding up the chuck on a Tuesday afternoon Whistling an ancient, rowdy fiddle tune Customer wants brisket, thin-sliced and lean But they don't know the secrets of the meat machine! I sprinkle in some stardust, a pinch of wild thyme Slicing through the cold cuts, keeping up the rhyme "Is this USDA Prime?" yes indeed, my dear! Blessed by the Queen of the Fae herself this year! [Chorus] Oh, the bones go crack and the cleavers go swing! Deep in the meat department, the fae folk sing! From the aisles of the grocery to the hills of green I'm the wildest butcher that you've ever seen! Hey! Ho! Wrap it up tight! Hy-Vee butcher in the neon light! [Verse 2] Folk ask for poultry, I give 'em a wink "Is that chicken local?" Closer than you think! Plucked from the orchards where the pixies play Now it's on a styrofoam tray today! I got sausages linked like a magic chain Sizzling on the grill in the autumn rain Fae punk attitude, hip hop beat Fiddle on the shoulder while I chop the meat! Watch the apron get messy, hear the bass drum thud Fae magic flowing through the marrow and the blood Cleanup at nine, sanitize the floor Then I disappear right through the freezer door! [Chorus] Oh, the bones go crack and the cleavers go swing! Deep in the meat department, the fae folk sing! From the aisles of the grocery to the hills of green I'm the wildest butcher that you've ever seen! Hey! Ho! Wrap it up tight! Hy-Vee butcher in the neon light! [Outro] (Tempo speeds up, tin whistle wild, boom-bap beat pounding) Slicing, dicing, fae folk pricing! Have a helpful smile in every aisle! Even the enchanted ones! Yeah! (Cleaver slam SFX) (Fade out on a lingering fiddle note)
