[Intro - Slow, Sad Piano Ballad] [Sound Effect: Clinking silverware and loud chatter] [Sound Effect: Heavy exaggerated sigh] I’m checking my watch... I’m checking the door... I don’t think I can take this small talk anymore. [Verse 1] My social battery died around 7:30. I’m running on fumes, feeling un-worthy. It’s 8:15 now, and I’m fading fast. [Sound Effect: Nervous heartbeat] I’m smiling and nodding, but I’m not gonna last. I don’t wanna be mean... I don’t wanna be rude... [Pre-Chorus - Tension Rises] To be honest with you... [Spoken Dryly]: I wasn't even gonna come. I was gonna stay home on the couch like a bum. But then I saw the table... [Sound Effect: Angelic Choir swelling] And everything changed. [Chorus - QUEEN OPERATIC SECTION] [Tempo Change: Explosive] [Layered Harmonies] BUT YOU HAD FOOD! (You had foooooood!) [Falsetto]: GLORIOUS MAC AND CHEESE! (And the yams! And the yams!) You had food... so I'm gonna make a plate. [Verse 2 - Funky Upbeat Pop] [Sound Effect: Zipper zipping up fast] [Sound Effect: Foil crinkling] I’m just gonna make a plate! (Pile it high!) I’ll be out of your hair! (Don't look me in the eye!) Just pretend I’m not there! (I'm a ghost, I'm a spy!) [Bridge] Wrap it in foil, Put a napkin on top. [Sound Effect: Rapid footsteps] I’m walking out backwards, And I’m not gonna stop. Don't ask me to stay, Don't ask for a hug. I’m already gone... [Outro] [Sound Effect: Car door slamming] [Sound Effect: Engine revving away] Merry Christmas! [Spoken from distance]: Thanks for the ham! [End]
