[0:00–0:12 | INTRO: 90s HOUSE BEAT, VINYL SCRATCHES, CROWD NOISE] [Female, high-pitched Nightcore voice] Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready to lose your MIND?! [Lo-Fi Guy, deep raspy voice] Ladies and gentlemen... Welcome to the dumbest fucking party on Earth! [Record scratch] WHO GAVE THIS IDIOT A MICROPHONE?! [0:12–0:32 | HOOK: BOUNCY 90s RAVE, FOUR-ON-THE-FLOOR KICK] [Female] PUMP! PUMP! PUMP THAT JAM! [Male] I DON'T GIVE A GODDAMN! [Female] JUMP! JUMP! HERE WE GO! [Male] TURN THAT SHIT UP! LET IT BLOW! [Both] PUMP THAT JAM! (HEY!) PUMP THAT JAM! (WHAT?!) EVERYBODY LOSE YOUR MIND! WE AIN'T GOT NO FUCKING PLAN! [0:32–0:48 | INSTRUMENTAL DANCE BREAK] [16 bars, bouncy 90s house piano, funky bassline, chopped female vocal samples] [Female vocal chops] Pump-pump! Jump-jump! Pump-pump! HEY! HEY! [Lo-Fi Guy] COME ON, GRANDMA! SHAKE THAT ASS! [0:48–1:12 | VERSE 1: FUNKY, AGGRESSIVE HIP-HOP FLOW] Everybody wanna be a DJ, Push one button, collect that payday! Ten grand for a USB stick, Crowd goes wild when the bass goes CLICK! Got glow sticks, bad decisions, Three-day rave, no supervision! Some dude's dancing with a traffic cone, Somebody's grandma just stole my phone! I'm a digital clown with a microphone, Making dumb-ass beats in my mobile home! Got twelve fans and a half-dead dream, But I'm headlining Coachella on a Walmart screen! [1:12–1:20 | PRE-DROP BUILD] [Female, increasingly high-pitched] PUMP IT UP! PUMP IT UP! PUMP IT UP! [Male] WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! [Music cuts] I THINK THE DJ'S HAVING A FUCKING STROKE! [1:20–1:40 | CHORUS: MASSIVE NIGHTCORE RAVE DROP] [Female] PUMP! PUMP! PUMP THAT JAM! [Male] I DON'T GIVE A GODDAMN! [Female] JUMP! JUMP! HERE WE GO! [Male] TURN THAT SHIT UP! LET IT BLOW! [Both] PUMP THAT JAM! (HEY!) PUMP THAT JAM! (WHAT?!) EVERYBODY LOSE YOUR MIND! WE AIN'T GOT NO FUCKING PLAN! [1:40–1:56 | EXTENDED INSTRUMENTAL DANCE BREAK] [16 bars, pounding 90s rave kick, acid synth, piano stabs, chopped Nightcore vocals] [Female vocal chops] Jam-jam-jam-jam! Pump-pump-pump-pump! [Male, distant] IF YOU CAN STILL HEAR ME, IT AIN'T LOUD ENOUGH! [1:56–2:20 | VERSE 2: FAST, SARCASTIC HIP-HOP] Influencer chick with a VIP pass, Took forty-six selfies, never shook her ass! Some guy screaming that he's feeling the vibe, Been hugging that speaker since a quarter to five! DJ's got a mask and a million views, I got green-ass dreads and some Walmart shoes! He got a private jet, I got a gas light, But we're both making noise on a Saturday night! I ain't got rhythm, I ain't got class, But I got a beat that'll kick your ass! If this shit's stupid, then you're stupid too, 'Cause you're jumping around like a kangaroo! [2:20–2:32 | COMEDY BREAKDOWN: MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP] [Female, sweet Nightcore voice] Excuse me, Mr. Lo-Fi Guy? [Male] WHAT?! [Female] Do you actually know how to DJ? [Male] ...No. [Female] Can you even dance? [Male] ...Absolutely fucking not. [Female] Then why are we here? [Male] BECAUSE THE BASS GOES... [2:32–2:40 | EIGHT-SECOND BUILD] [Rapid snare rolls, rising synth siren, accelerating vocal chops] [Male] BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! [Female] PUMP! THAT! JAM! [Male] EVERYBODY GET STUPID! [2:40–3:04 | FINAL CHORUS: DOUBLE-TIME NIGHTCORE EXPLOSION] [Female] PUMP! PUMP! PUMP THAT JAM! [Male] I DON'T GIVE A GODDAMN! [Female] JUMP! JUMP! HERE WE GO! [Male] TURN THAT SHIT UP! LET IT BLOW! [Both] PUMP THAT JAM! (HEY!) PUMP THAT JAM! (WHAT?!) EVERYBODY LOSE YOUR MIND! WE AIN'T GOT NO FUCKING PLAN! [Female, repeating faster] PUMP THAT JAM! PUMP THAT JAM! PUMP THAT JAM! PUMP THAT JAM! [3:04–3:16 | OUTRO: INSTRUMENTAL RAVE BREAK] [12 seconds of pounding kick drums, funky bass, 90s piano stabs, glitchy vocal chops] [Male, shouting over the music] THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT! [Female] You were terrible! [Male] I KNOW! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT! [Record scratch, abrupt silence]
