[[INTRO — DEEP ROBOTIC VOICE] Silence. I said… SILENCE. Can you hear that? No? Exactly. Because I haven't started yet. One mushroom. One rhythm. One universe. And you already know who's in charge. TRALALA LALÈRE. [VERSE 1 — COOL, ARROGANT, GROOVING] I don't chase the rhythm, The rhythm chases me. I don't follow music, Music follows me. I walk into the club, The speakers stand at attention. The bass gets on its knees, The drums ask for permission. Your DJ plays a record. I make the record bow. You wanna know who's running this? You're finding out right now. [PRE-DROP — CROWD CALL & RESPONSE] WHO OWNS THE BEAT?! (MUSHROOM!) WHO RULES THE NIGHT?! (CHAMPIGNON!) WHO MAKES THE UNIVERSE MOVE LEFT AND RIGHT?! (TRALALA LALÈRE!) I CAN'T HEAR YOU! (TRALALA LALÈRE!) [DROP 1 — THE RHYTHM COMMANDER] I OWN THE BEAT! I OWN THE FLOOR! I MAKE YOUR BODY BEG FOR MORE! BOOM — TAKA! BOOM — TAKA! TRALALA LALÈRE! BASS DOWN LOW! LIGHTS UP HIGH! I MAKE THE STARS BREAKDANCE IN THE SKY! TRALALA! LALÈRE! THE KING OF RHYTHM IS STANDING RIGHT HERE! [VERSE 2 — MINIMAL, FUNKY, DANGEROUS] I turn one knob. The planets align. I tap one button. Your heartbeat falls in line. I drop one kick. The oceans start to sway. I whisper "maybe"… And your feet just walk away. No tricks. No luck. No algorithm knows my touch. I don't need a thousand sounds. I make one sound… And shut it down. [BREAKDOWN — BASS AND BREATH ONLY] (Deep voice) Listen to the silence. That's my instrument. Watch the crowd. That's my orchestra. Feel your heartbeat. That's my signature. Now… Let me show you What happens when I stop. (Everything cuts out.) … You're still dancing. HAHAHAHA! [DROP 2 — TOTAL RHYTHM DOMINATION] TRALALA LALÈRE! MOVE YOUR SOUL! I DON'T PLAY THE MUSIC! I CONTROL! LEFT FOOT! RIGHT FOOT! BODY ON FIRE! DJ CHAMPIGNON TAKES THE BEAT HIGHER! BOM-BOM! TIKI-TAK! NO ONE HERE CAN BRING IT BACK! STOP! (One beat of silence.) GO! TRALALA LALÈRE! [BRIDGE — THE CHALLENGER] (A distant robotic voice) Are you really The greatest DJ in the universe? (DJ Champignon, laughing) The greatest? My little electronic potato… I AM THE REASON YOUR SPEAKERS EXIST. Now watch closely. [FINAL DROP — THE CROWN OF RHYTHM] ONE BEAT! ONE KING! ONE COSMIC EVERYTHING! BASS! DRUMS! LET THE GALAXY SING! TRALALA LALÈRE! TRALALA LALÀ! EVEN TIME ITSELF DANCES WHEN I SAY! BOOM-BOOM! TSS-TAK! THE UNIVERSE CAN'T FIGHT THIS TRACK! DJ CHAMPIGNON! SAY MY NAME! I DON'T PLAY THE GAME… I INVENTED THE GAME! [OUTRO — CALM, ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT] Thank you. You may now resume breathing. The rhythm is yours again. Until I return. Tralala… Lalère. (One final bass hit.)
