[Intro] Deep beneath an abandoned newsroom, I sit at my old black typewriter. I have no eyes. Only a narrow mail slot in my pale face. Every night at midnight, I hum this song through the slot. And somewhere, someone starts to listen. [Verse 1] Click. I type your name. Click. Your address. Click. The time of your death.... I don’t need to know you. I don’t need to have seen you. The moment you hear my song, I know who you are. While I sing, I write your obituary! With every line, it moves closer to completion.... And if you hear my song through its final note, then yours is the obituary I wrote. Yes, you....yes, exactly you...! “Do you like my song?” [Hook] You think I’m coming to get you. But I’ve been with you all along. My name is Bob-ituary. I stand where you cannot see, in the dark corners. I sit at the nape of your neck and wait only for you to hear the final note. Then Bob-ituary... will whisper your name. “Can you hear me?!” Now you know: your obituary will soon be complete! [Verse 2] You can turn the song off, but I keep humming it for you.... from the radio, from your phone, right beside you. I sing softer and softer, so you’ll come closer. “Mmm... I can feel your fear!” While you listen, I type your age, your address... and the final words of your obituary: "Died after the final note had faded away." You panic and try to destroy every speaker. But the final note isn’t coming from those devices. It sounds deep inside your head. Soft. Then louder and louder, until your heart takes up my melody. [Bridge] Now only one line is missing.... I place my fingers on the keys.... Click. Time of death confirmed. The music falls silent. Your heart has stopped beating.... I pull your obituary from the machine.... and slowly push it through the mail slot in my face. [Hook] I’ve come to get you, because I’m there the moment you listen to my song. My name is Bob-ituary. "I stand where you cannot see, in the dark corners. I sit at the nape of your neck, waiting only..." until you’ve heard the final note! [Outro] The next morning, it lies outside your door. On the back, it says: "Thank you for listening to Bob-ituary’s song all the way to the end!" And while someone finds your body... I begin to hum the song once more.... Because I am Bob-ituary! "And somewhere..." the next listener has just pressed “Play.”! Lyrics copyright 07/2026 Kati Weber All rights reserved
