[Intro] If you're homeless, just buy a house! Who needs a bank when you've got your doubts? Credit score zero? Pfft, that's just fine, Walk in the bank with a wink and a line. They'll hand you the keys, no questions asked, 'Cause advice like this is pure gold, unsurpassed! [Pre-Chorus] Oh, the wisdom flows, so simple and true, Life's little hacks, what else can you do? [Chorus] If you're blind, just see! If you've got anxiety, just calm down! Heart attack hittin'? Just defend it now! Fifty percent odds? Do it twice, no sweat! Chokin' on life? Just breathe, don't forget! Insomnia's callin'? Just sleep through the night! Alzheimer's fog? Just forget it, alright! If you're dead and gone, just come back to life! We're all experts here, cuttin' through the strife! [Verse 2] If you're chokin', just breathe! Swallow that pride, Air's free as freedom, no need to confide. Heart's racin' wild? Build a wall, stand your ground, Defend every beat till it slows with a sound. Op'ration's a coin flip? Roll it again, my friend, Double the gamble, that's how winners win! [Pre-Chorus] These pro tips are legends, passed down through the ages, no PhD needed, just turn those pages! [Chorus] If you're blind, just see! If you've got anxiety, just calm down! Heart attack hittin'? Just defend it now! Fifty percent odds? Do it twice, no sweat! Chokin' on life? Just breathe, don't forget! Insomnia's callin'? Just sleep through the night! Alzheimer's fog? Just forget it, alright! If you're dead and gone, just come back to life! We're all experts here, cuttin' through the strife! [Bridge] Picture this: You're six feet under, dirt in your eyes, But hey, dust off the coffin, surprise, surprise! Rise like a zombie, no grave can hold ya, Bad advice anthem, it's our opera! (Just do it! Just fix it! Just wing it all night!) [Final Chorus] If you're blind, just see! (Just see!) If you've got anxiety, just calm down! (Calm down!) Heart attack hittin'? Just defend it now! (Defend!) Fifty percent odds? Do it twice, no sweat! (Twice!) Chokin' on life? Just breathe, don't forget! (Breathe!) Insomnia's callin'? Just sleep through the night! (Sleep!) Alzheimer's fog? Just forget it, alright! (Forget!) If you're dead and gone, just come back to life! (Come back!) Bad advice forever, in this rock 'n' roll knife!
