Verse 1 Post-Op Pat is tall and old, Bald as an egg and his feet are cold, Walks with a limp and a wobbling gait, His bung ankle clicks when he’s running late! He’s got a cat called Maybe or Sam, Won’t call it a she and won’t call it a man, Pat says, “This cat is ahead of its time!” Then trips on the carpet and falls on his behind! Chorus Oh, Post-Op Pat, Post-Op Pat, Tall, bald, wobbly, fancy that! With a bung ankle and a cat called They, He’s the strangest old bugger in the whole café! Hey! Hey! What do you say? Pat’s gone limping down the highway! Hey! Hey! Give him some slack, The cat’s in front and Pat’s bringing up the back! Verse 2 Pat went dancing on Saturday night, His ankle went left while his body went right, He tried the moonwalk, he tried the twist, Then landed flat with a painful hiss! The cat just stared with a look of disdain, Like, “I am NOT helping you up again!” Pat said, “Come on, you’re my best mate!” The cat said nothing. It was getting quite late! Chorus Oh, Post-Op Pat, Post-Op Pat, Tall, bald, wobbly, fancy that! With a bung ankle and a cat called They, He’s the strangest old bugger in the whole café! Hey! Hey! What do you say? Pat’s gone limping down the highway! Hey! Hey! Give him a cheer, He’s been the same old nuisance for many a year! Bridge — spoken dramatically Pat looked in the mirror and scratched his head. Then he remembered… He had no hair! He looked down at his ankle. It went CLICK! He looked at the cat. The cat looked back. And together they whispered… “We need a holiday!” Final Chorus — everybody sing! Post-Op Pat! Post-Op Pat! Bald old legend in a battered old hat! One dodgy ankle, one cat called They, Making a complete dog’s breakfast of every day! Outro Who’s that tall bloke? POST-OP PAT! Who’s that cat? DON’T ASK THAT! What’s that noise? CLICK-CLICK-CLACK! That’s Pat’s bung ankle… AND HE’S NEVER COMING BACK! 🎸
