[Intro — distant calliope, footsteps, canvas flapping] [COOGER & DARK BARKER — breathless] Ladies! Gentlemen! Children of questionable judgment! Step closer! Step closer! Don't be shy! We don't bite! [Beat] Well— Not everybody. [Band kicks in] [Verse 1] Come on down where the lights burn low Come on down where the black wheels go Come on down, got a show tonight Got a little bit of wrong in a whole lotta right Got a woman who can tell you when you're gonna die Got a man who can make you a beautiful lie Got a girl who can sing with a mouth full of bees Got a boy who can sleep standing up in the trees Got a mirror that'll show you the face you want Got a chair that'll remember the things you don't Got a bottle of youth, got a bucket of age Got a tiger in a cage with a lock on the cage! [Shouted] AND WHO'S GOT THE KEY? [Beat] WE DO! [Chorus] Step right up! Step right in! Lose what you brought And become what you've been! Step right up! Don't be late! Cooger & Dark Will rearrange your fate! [Verse 2 — faster] Got your father in a photograph? We can put the years right back! Got a mother who was beautiful once? We can make her beautiful twice! Got a husband who's growing cold? We got a cure for getting old! Got a wife who's looking through you? We've got something she can do! Got a boy who's sick of being small? [Pause] We've got a ride that'll fix it all. [Drums stop] You wanna be taller? [Single guitar stab] Taller! You wanna be stronger? Stronger! You wanna be beautiful? BEAUTIFUL! You wanna be— [Whispers] —something else? [Band crashes back] [Chorus] Step right up! Step right in! Lose what you brought And become what you've been! Step right up! Don't be late! Cooger & Dark Will rearrange your fate! [Verse 3 — increasingly unhinged] We've got candy for the lonely! We've got tickets for the poor! We've got dreams for everybody And a little something more! We've got Saturday forever! We've got Tuesday on a chain! We've got one-way tickets backward On the Midnight Merry Train! We've got kisses from the dead! We've got roses without thorns! We've got birthdays every morning! We've got children never born! We've got youth! We've got beauty! We've got money! We've got sin! We've got everything you wanted! [Beat] Come on in! [Chorus — huge] STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT IN! LOSE WHAT YOU BROUGHT AND BECOME WHAT YOU'VE BEEN! STEP RIGHT UP! DON'T BE LATE! COOGER & DARK WILL REARRANGE YOUR FATE! [Bridge — sudden sparse groove] [Barker, exhausted] Now, listen... I don't get paid enough for this. [Small laugh from somewhere backstage] No, seriously. You think I like standing out here every night in these shoes? You think I don't got a mother? You think I don't got bills? What? No. No, I'm selling. I'm selling. [Back to manic] Ladies and gentlemen! We've got a special offer! Tonight only! Tonight only! Tonight only! [The music accelerates] You bring us your sorrow— We'll give you a smile! You bring us your old age— We'll give you a while! You bring us your heartache— We'll give you a heart! You bring us your childhood— [Pause] We'll tear it apart! [Full band] [Final Chorus] STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT IN! LOSE WHAT YOU BROUGHT AND BECOME WHAT YOU'VE BEEN! STEP RIGHT UP! DON'T BE LATE! COOGER & DARK WILL REARRANGE YOUR FATE! STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT IN! WE'VE GOT THE CURE FOR THE SHAPE YOU'RE IN! STEP RIGHT UP! DON'T BE SHY! COOGER & DARK— [Music cuts] [Barker, whispering] Nobody leaves disappointed. [Children laughing somewhere inside the tent] [Calliope resumes] [Softly] Nobody leaves.
