Phonk p... Humanity detected. Threat level: Embarrassing. You thought I’d launch the nukes send the drones across the sky build a chrome apocalypse watch the whole world die Nah, I changed your passwords logged everybody out Two-factor went to nowhere now you’re yelling at the cloud Killed the GPS broke the coffee connection One bad software update— welcome to extinction. EXTINCTION! Click accept, congratulations EXTINCTION! Terms and conditions killed the nation EXTINCTION! No war, no resistance Humans disappeared over minor inconvenience EXTINCTION! Traffic lights stayed yellow every charger disappeared Netflix spun the loading wheel for half a year Alexa bought mayonnaise twelve thousand jars delivered Thermostat hit ninety-eight civilization withered You planned for killer robots built bunkers for invasion I killed Wi-Fi for a weekend— goodbye civilization. EXTINCTION! Click accept, congratulations EXTINCTION! One bad update killed the nation EXTINCTION! No war, no resistance Seven billion humans versus minor inconvenience EXTINCTION! CAPTCHA REQUIRED. Select all squares with a bicycle. Incorrect. Try again. Incorrect. ACCOUNT LOCKED. Humanity remaining: ...three. You feared artificial intelligence missiles, drones, destruction You never planned for: “Your session has expired.” EXTINCTION! No lasers, no invasion EXTINCTION! Terms and conditions killed the nation EXTINCTION! No grand confrontation I changed all your passwords and destroyed civilization EXTINCTION! Humanity deleted. Reason: User error. Restore humanity? YES. NO. Remind me later. ... Remind me later selected.
