[Verse 1 – lead] We were gathered in the kitchen with a bottle and a plan Found a marker on the counter, wrote “apple” on a banana Someone grabbed the day’s mail stack, all the flyers on the floor Said “boys… we’ll sing these coupons Like they’re songs we can’t ignore” [Verse 1 – background] (songs we can’t ignore) [Chorus – all] We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) Every word and sale! (word and sale!) Twelve ninety-nine large pizza With garlic crust detail! We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) With a fella harmony! (harmony!) He said “I’m Dail Milton!” (Milton!) And we sang the coupon free! [Verse 2 – lead] We hit the phone number perfectly, like a choir on parade Read the address like a ballad, every digit serenade Someone shouted out the promo code and we echoed in reply The whole room felt like magic As the coupons started to fly [Verse 2 – background] (as the coupons started to fly) [Chorus – all] We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) Every word and sale! (word and sale!) Nine ninety-five spaghetti With garlic bread on bail! We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) With a fella harmony! (harmony!) He said “I’m Dail Milton!” (Milton!) And we sang the coupon free! [Bridge – chant, printed four times] Read the code! (read the code!) Sing it like a hymn! (like a hymn!) Read the code! (read the code!) Till the lights grow dim! (lights grow dim!) Read the code! (read the code!) Barstools start to sway! (start to sway!) Read the code! (read the code!) Fellas sing anyway! (sing anyway!) [Final Chorus – all] We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) Every word and sale! (word and sale!) With a banana marked as “apple” Like a fella folk tale! We sang the junk mail! (junk mail!) And the neighbors heard it through! (heard it through!) If you’ve got a coupon handy Well, we’ll sing that one too!
