[Verse 1 – A Party and a Ring] In a land full of trees and second breakfast dreams, There lived a chill hobbit named Kevin, it seems. He had curly hair and tiny feet, He loved to nap and snack and eat. 🍞🍄 Then one day at a birthday bash, An old friend came with wizardy flash— It was Miles, in a robe and a glowing hat, He said, “Kev, this ring? You don’t want that.” [Chorus – The Ring Thing]** 🎵 One ring to rule them all, one ring to curse, One ring to make your life dramatically worse. It whispers, it tempts, it turns you cold… But it’s kinda shiny and made of gold. Kevin didn’t want it, he’s not that brave— So he gave it to his cousin who forgot to shave… That’s Frodo, by the way—he takes the lead, While Miles the wizard smokes magical weed. (Pipeweed, that is.) [Verse 2 – Onward to Doom] Now Frodo and Sam, they hit the road, Carrying evil like it’s a load of code. They meet some bros: Legolas, Gimli too, And Aragorn, who’s hot and brooding—whew! Meanwhile, Miles says cool wizard things, And battles demons on flaming wings. He shouts, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” with flare, Then falls... and comes back with upgraded hair. 🧙♂️🔥 [Chorus – Middle-earth Mayhem] 🎵 Orcs attack, and kingdoms fall, Elves are dramatic and really tall. Trees walk slow, Gollum talks fast, Frodo’s like “Why’s my soul deteriorating so fast?” The ring is heavy, and Frodo’s shook, Sam’s like “Bro I made you lunch, just look!” 🧺 And somewhere far off with spells and smiles— Miles is wizard-ing in dramatic miles. [Bridge – Big Battles, Bigger Heart]** Sauron’s eye is always watching, Frodo’s fingers? Always throbbing. But friendship’s strong and evil’s not— Even Kevin’s like, “Whoa, plot twist plot!” At Mount Doom, the journey ends, Frodo fails… but Gollum wins? (And then falls in.) The ring is gone, the world is free, And everyone cries emotionally. 😭 [Final Chorus – Happily Ever After-ish] 🎵 It’s swords, it’s songs, it’s friendship pain, It’s walking for hundreds of miles in rain. It’s elves and dwarves and spooky kings, And talking trees that punch bad things. 🌳💥 Kevin’s back in the Shire, warm and fed, Miles rides off with glowsticks in his head. So now you know the legendary bling, That’s The Lord of the Rings — and why you should binge the whole thing. [Outro – Bonus Hobbit Facts] Hobbits love food, and naps by the fire, Wizards love drama and looking inspired. And if you ever find a ring on the floor... Just leave it there. Seriously. You don’t want that chore. 💍😬
