Foreword "Brave" used to need a choice: somebody running into the fire. In the comment sections it is paid to anyone something has happened to, and then to anyone standing near it. I kept seeing the same top comment under videos that had nothing to do with it: a dead wife, how she loved this channel, thousands of hearts. And people trying on a label, because the labelled get a welcome and a reason. If the word is paid for proximity, the poorest man in the comments is the one nothing has ever happened to. The song is his: healthy, married, cheerful, and quite reasonable about why that is unfair. It could have been the widower’s song. Its two parents are Tim Minchin’s Rock N Roll Nerd, too cheerful to have depth, and Klamydia’s Megamarttyyri, the self-appointed mega-martyr. The verses are seven-beat couplets, thirty lines at one unbroken pace; the chorus is found text; and one rhyme never arrives. Lyrics [Verse 1] Gary's wife is dead again. She died beneath a drain. A video: a man in gloves, unblocking in the rain. "She loved this channel," Gary writes. "She passed away in June." Top comment. Forty thousand hearts by Sunday afternoon. She's died beneath a recipe. She's died beneath a goal. She's died beneath a parrot. Gary's on a proper roll. And everybody tells him he's so brave and he's so strong, And I sit here with my living wife and wonder what went wrong. [Pre-Chorus] Now brave, I've always understood, is something that you choose. You run into the fire, or you stand there and refuse. But Gary didn't do a thing. And she did all the dying. He just stood near a tragedy. I could do that. I'm trying. [Chorus] So brave. So strong. I can't imagine. Amen. I've done nothing. And I'd do it again. [Verse 2] My mother's eighty-one. I rang. I asked. She said she's fine. My father's had the scans they do. The scans came back. He's fine. The boy fell off the climbing frame. He bounced. He stood. He's fine. I found a mole. I had it checked. I went back twice. It's fine. The boiler died in April. I announced it. We were lost. I got one thumb. A plumber. He could do me one at cost. And worse than that, I'm cheerful. Every morning I feel great. I've tried to be depressed. I can't. I just can't concentrate. [Verse 3] One night I found a quiz online: "Are you neurodivergent?" It said, "It's possible." I said, "That's all I need. It's urgent." I'd like a reason with a ribbon on for what I'm not: "He could have been a surgeon. Look, poor lamb, at what he's got." I thought I might be trans, a bit. I went along for tea. The group was kind. The group was warm. They all believed in me. A woman there had lost her job, her mother and her wife. I only came for the welcome. I'd not come for the life. A man I know in a wheelchair gets it said to him in stores: "So brave!" For buying milk. He hates it. I said, "Can I have yours?" [Chorus] So brave. So strong. I can't imagine. Amen. I've done nothing. And I'd do it again. [Bridge] My wife this morning, buttering her bread, The sunlight on her lovely, living head. I looked at her. I took her hand. I said: "I love you. I'd be lost if you were..." "Fine," she said. "I'm fine." She's always fine. [Final Chorus] So brave. So strong. I can't imagine. Amen. I want that underneath my name. Amen. I've done nothing. And I'd do it again. [Outro] I've written the tribute already. It's in my drafts. I've left a gap for the name.
