THE PERFECT PLAN [CHARACTERS] HARRY – absolutely certain he has everything under control. LUCY – absolutely certain Harry does not. [INTRO – HARRY] Good morning, Lucy! What a beautiful day! I’ve made a little plan. [LUCY] Oh no. [HARRY] What do you mean, “Oh no”? [LUCY] Last time you made a little plan, we ended up in France. [HARRY] That was not my fault! [LUCY] Harry... we were going to Manchester. --- [VERSE 1 – HARRY] I’ve got the tickets, got the bags, I checked the train at ten. We’ll have some lunch, enjoy the view, and be back home again. [LUCY] You’ve got the tickets? [HARRY] Right here! [LUCY] Those are from last year. [HARRY] Ah. [LUCY] And where’s your bag? [HARRY] Right there! [LUCY] That’s mine. [HARRY] I knew that. [LUCY] Of course you did. --- [CHORUS – BOTH] It’s the perfect plan, the perfect plan! Nothing can go wrong when Harry’s the man! [LUCY] Something will go wrong! [HARRY] Nothing will go wrong! [LUCY] Give it five minutes! [HARRY] Come along! [BOTH] It’s the perfect, perfect, absolutely perfect plan! --- [VERSE 2 – LUCY] Now where are the sandwiches? [HARRY] Inside the little case. [LUCY] That little case contains your shoes. [HARRY] They needed extra space. [LUCY] And where’s the money? [HARRY] In my coat. [LUCY] The coat you left at home? [HARRY – pause] We could call this... travelling light. [LUCY] We haven’t left the house! --- [MUSIC SPEEDS UP] [HARRY] Taxi! [LUCY] Wrong direction! [HARRY] Station! [LUCY] Wrong connection! [HARRY] Platform seven! [LUCY] Platform three! [HARRY] Why does everybody disagree with me? [LUCY] Because the giant sign says THREE! [HARRY] Ah. That explains a lot. --- [CHORUS – BOTH] It’s the perfect plan, the perfect plan! Running through the station as fast as we can! [LUCY] There goes our train! [HARRY] That wasn’t our train! [LUCY] Yes, it was! [HARRY] Well... here comes another one! [LUCY] That goes to Spain! [HARRY] Spain sounds nice. --- [BRIDGE – MUSIC SLOWS] [LUCY] Harry... [HARRY] Yes? [LUCY] Do you actually know where we’re going? [HARRY] Of course. [LUCY] Where? [HARRY – proudly] Forward. [LUCY] That is not a destination. [HARRY] It is if you’re an optimist. [LUCY – starting to laugh] You are impossible. [HARRY] But never boring. [LUCY] Unfortunately... that’s true. --- [FINAL CHORUS – BIG MUSICAL ENDING] [BOTH] It’s the perfect plan, the perfect plan! We don’t know where we’re going, but we’re going if we can! No map! No train! No sandwiches again! But if the whole thing falls apart, we’ll simply start again! [HARRY] So... Manchester? [LUCY] Yes! [HARRY] Tomorrow? [LUCY] Why tomorrow? [HARRY] Because our train left... [LUCY] When? [HARRY] Yesterday. [LUCY] HARRY! [BOTH – BIG FINISH] IT’S THE PERFECT PLAN!
