Epic collab with the epic frowns! (@frowns) - thanks dude, you're great 🫶 lyrics and cover by Artistic Intelligence Music production by frowns for a grumpy collab! It's part of the Artistic Intelligence Christmas album that you can listen to here: https://suno.com/playlist/0f14d499-8ba8-4a36-b613-0a67de2f7063 ### Ho, ho!—no, no! What’s this mess?! Santa’s broke, and he’s stressed! Let’s go! Santa’s face is a thundercloud, oh boy, it’s grim, No more ho-ho-happy, he’s got no whim. The price of sugar’s up, the honey’s gone high, Even reindeer food costs more—oh, why, oh, why?! So he works at the mall in a big red suit, Kids pulling his beard, oh, it’s not so cute. “Santa, I want an iPhone 16 Pro Max, To chat with my elementary school pals—no slacks!” He mutters under his breath, “Kid, go play in the highway!” He’s scribbling wish lists, his fingers ache, Wishing he’d just stayed at the North Pole lake. Every kid’s asking for something insane, “Can’t I just give you socks a-gain?” Grumpy Santa at the mall, His frown’s so big it’s ten feet tall! From iPhones to ponies, they ask it all, Poor old Santa might just bawl! A little boy said, “I want a stabilizer stick, And a microphone to make my TikToks click!” A girl said, “Santa, I need more followers, please, And a selfie drone that can catch all my cheese!” Santa's eye twitched as he heard their pleas, “Do they think I’m made of magic or social media keys?” His pocket jingles, but not from gold, Just candy canes melting, oh, life’s so cold! He’s stuck in a photo booth, fake snow falls, With screaming kids running down the halls. Santa Claus is losing his cool, “This was easier when I just had to use a mule!" Grumpy Santa at the mall, His scowl could smash through a concrete wall! From robot dogs to a space-time ball, He’s wondering why he does this at all! He dreams of simpler times, back in the day, When kids got footballs and yo-yos and said, “Hooray!” Now it’s VR goggles and DJI drones, With Bluetooth skates and hologram phones. Santa thinks, *“Maybe I’ll unionize the elves, Get higher wages, some rights for themselves!”* But for now, he’s stuck with the job he’s got, Smiling in selfies, though he’d rather not! Grumpy Santa at the mall, His patience is thinner than the snowflakes fall. They ask for yachts, they ask for fame, He’s tired of playing this Christmas game! "Ho, ho, ho... wait, no, no... I’m done" Santa’s had enough, oh, this ain’t fun. He’s packing up his bag, closing the door, Screw the selfies—let’s go back to the North Pole for sure! “Maybe next year... I’ll just have my wife, the Befana, do all the work on January 6th. I’ll take a nap!” Santa’s done, no more fake cheer, Time for a break, maybe a beer! So remember, kids, when you ask for too much, Santa’s smile’s fake, and it’s out of touch... Grumpy Santa at the mall, He’s not coming back next Christmas at all!