(Yo!) (Let's go!) (Swipe right!) (Cha-ching!) (Verse 1) [Lead vocal, fast, boastful flow] Landed in Bangkok, phone's blowin' up Got more matches here than in my favorite city Swipe to the right, yeah, it's an easy game Every profile's screamin' out my name She's a ten, she's a model, wait, she's a dentist too? Doesn't even matter, got a whole damn queue They're linin' up just for a chance to see The international Tinder King, that's me! ( KING KING KING ) [Pre-Chorus] [Music builds with a synth riser] They love the accent, they love the mystery They're flyin' in from Phuket just to come and see me (To see me!) [Chorus] [Massive, catchy drop with four-on-the-floor beat and euphoric synths] I'm the Tinder King of Thailand( KING KING ) Every single swipe's a guaranteed slam! (SLAM!) They're beautiful, they're keen, yeah, it's a man's sweet dream! Runnin' through my matches like a powerful stream! I'm the Tinder King! (KING!) Look at my phone blow up, it's the best darn thing! In the Land of Smiles, I'm winnin' every trial! Let me check my DMs, yeah, just gimme a while! (Verse 2) [Lead vocal, even more arrogant] Got a date with a nurse, got a date with a teacher The attention here is like a powerful feature They don't play hard to get, they just say "Hey, where you at?" Might have to buy a new phone 'cause my screen is cracked! From the sky bars down to the sandy beaches I'm givin' 'em a pep talk, all my best clichés They're hangin' on every word that I'm sayin' Probably think that I'm the guy that John Cena starred with! [Chorus] [Full drop repeats, biggest and most arrogant yet] I'm the Tinder King of Thailand ( KING KING ) Every single swipe's a guaranteed slam! (SLAM!) They're beautiful, they're keen, yeah, it's a man's sweet dream! Runnin' through my matches like a powerful stream! I'm the Tinder King! (KING!) Look at my phone blow up, it's the best darn thing! In the Land of Smiles, I'm winnin' every trial! Let me check my DMs, yeah, just gimme a while! (Bridge) [Music shifts slightly. The synth melody becomes a little more quirky, a slight "wonky" effect] [Lead vocal, tone becomes a tiny bit unsure, then realization dawns] Wait a second though... hol' up, pause... This one's profile says "I love feminist causes"... And this one's taller than me... and her hands are... strong... And her Adam's apple's is... uh... there ... (Wait a minute...) That voice is a little... deep... for a "Hey, handsome"... And I'm startin' to think this whole damn... ...this whole app is filled with... (Ladyboys) [Record scratch sound effect. The music STOPS DEAD.] [Silence for a beat.] [Lead vocal, spoken, all arrogance gone, replaced with utter shock and realization] "...They're all ladyboys." (LADYBOYS) (Outro Ad-libs over a comically sad, deflating trombone sound) (Swipe left...) (My king...dom for a swipe left...) (Oh my god...) (The Tinder King is dead.) [Sound of a single notification "ding" that echoes sadly into silence.]
